Butterflies and Bullets
by Decafff
Summary: Murphy MacManus is getting jealous of all the tail his brother is getting. He goes out to drink his sorrows away, and meets a girl...
1. Chapter 1

**Butterflies and Bullets**

**Chapter One**

Murphy wandered down the near-empty street, his hands crammed deep into his coat pockets against the freezing weather, hoping to keep them from freezing off.

He and Connor had fought. About something stupid, as usual. For once, it wasn't brotherly 'bickering', which would be solved by wrestling until something broke—for instance: the air vent, the table, a forklift, lamps, various other tables, one time an altar, and once or twice a couch. Various couches—and then they would forget about the stupid argument. This time they had yelled. Loudly. There was fists, name calling. Murphy had gotten fed up and left. He didn't know where he was supposed to go.

But he was fuckin' cold. He could head back, but why would he interrupt Eve and Connor's "Only time together." Only time together besides every other second of the day, as Connor was constantly leaving Murphy alone at home to go see Eve at work, to wait outside of Silk to make sure she didn't get into any trouble... Which was destined to happen. Murphy had realized recently that they never truly separated. It was like they were stuck together whenever Eve was home—which, granted, was rarely, but it still seemed like it never ended.

Even if they did seem happier than when Murphy disappeared for a few hours, he didn't like to have to go out into the freezing-ass Boston cold just so they two of them could fuck. He gave a stout eye roll to show that he was annoyed by this.

_ Maybe I should just stay out all night. Then maybe they can be cheerful enough for a few days, _Murphy pondered. He realized now that he had a hangnail on his finger and lifted it up to his mouth to bite at it. In spite of the earliness of the evening—only eight—he figured he could go out and get a beer. Maybe some shots. He liked that idea.

He pondered where a bar would be, glancing ahead of him on the unfamiliar street, finding nothing, and then glancing back behind him. The Rusty Nail. That sounded like a bar. He shrugged, and about-faced, turning to run across the road, hoping no cars came—at least a big one. He could fight off maybe a small vehicle, like a scooter or a motorcycle, but anything bigger than a Geo Metro might win him over.

Hands still stuffed into his pockets, Murphy walked on—how had he been able to read that sign if it was so fucking far away? He heaved a sigh, and coughed, figuring that a cigarette would make his lungs feel better. He reached into his pocket for his lighter once he got to the door of the bar, his little cigarette in the corner of his mouth.

"Get the fuck away from me!" A small voice called, the swinging door shoved open and a dark haired girl shoved out, followed by big men in nice suits. One was large and bald, the other smallish with thick hair. The girl glanced up at Murphy fleetingly, her eyes hopeful and begging. Murphy's stomach felt like he was falling—"Butterflies."

"'Ey, she said leave 'er alone." Murphy said, quietly, pulling the cigarette out of his mouth, and blowing the smoke out of his nose. "So… Back off, righ'?" He waved his hand at the suited men, a shooing motion, not sure why he thought they might listen to him. The haired one turned to the bald one, and spoke in quick Russian, too quick for Murphy's tired mind to keep up with it. Eve and Connor's constant fucking had been keeping him up more often than not. He didn't know if he had slept properly in the past month.

"Where is your _bratchnie_ brother, eh, Irish boy?" The bald one asked, reaching into his coat. The small girl looked frightened, moving closer to Murphy, making him wonder why she was trying to be protected by him. Sure, he could hold his own, but he didn't look like much. Especially compared to these two huge Russian guys.

"I didn' start anything," Murphy stated, holding his arms up after pushing the girl back behind him. If this bald Russian pulled out a gun, Murphy was pretty prepared to say that he and the girl didn't have much of a fucking-chance-in-hell. He didn't have his gun on him; it was completely illogical to carry that big-ass thing around with him, especially in public. He let out a loud sigh and pushed the cigarette back into his mouth from his fingers as both the suited men—most likely, he decided now, mafia—pulled revolvers from their coats.

"I'm going to die…" The girl cried, covering her ears as tears suddenly spilled out of her eyes.

"Shut up, whore!" The haired man said loudly, pointing his gun at the girl, obviously his temper was short. Murphy was going to have to keep his under control—

"You fuckin' apologize to 'er!" He said, louder than was necessary, interrupting his own thoughts of keeping his temper down; and pointed his finger in the haired Russian's face. There was no guarantee that the two of them, this girl and Murphy, were getting out of this alive, but Murphy planned on taking this bitch down with him, if he did get taken down. Murphy's temper was just as bad as the next guys—maybe even worse. He lashed out a lot more than he needed to, and was quick to change emotions. His moods were fast, he had to admit; sometimes even he couldn't keep track of them.

Baldy pointed his gun at Murphy still, face in his haired friend's—if you could call it hair. At this close a distance, Murphy was pretty close to positive that that was a toupee.

"You killed Ivan." The bald one said. Murphy gave a dirty look, leaving his finger in Toupee's face.

"I killed a lot o' you fuckin' Russian basterds." Murphy stated. "Who the fuck was Ivan?" Baldy yelled in anger, not sure what else to do, and pointed the gun more thoroughly at Murphy's head as if he hadn't aimed well enough the first time.

Murphy took this chance to dive at Baldy, shouldering him in the ribs and punching him over the head before taking his gun and pointing it at Toupee. "Get the fuck out of my face. And leave deh lass the fuck alone." He said, angrily, shooting at Toupee's feet, trying to scare him. The dark haired girl stood, hand pressed over her painted mouth.

Toupee ran, leaving his friend behind. Murphy reached instinctively into Baldy's pocket and extracted his money clip, handing it to the girl, not sure why. She reached out to take the money, presumably, and Murphy went to turn away, only to have his fingers grabbed.

The girl ran, pulling Murphy behind her, her stiletto heels clicking loudly, and Murphy wondering how the hell she could run in those, and why the hell she was wearing such a short skirt—and those death traps—in this Frostbite-inducing temperature.

The girl pulled him into an odd alley—both of them thanking God that the street had been empty and no one had seen Murphy admit to killing Russian people, or see him shoot at some other Russian guy.

"You're one of them, aren't you?" The girl asked. Murphy raised an eyebrow and took a step away from the girl, noticing the proximity. They were sharing the same recycled fog-breath. Murphy reached into his pockets, digging for his lighter and cigarettes, realizing he had not lost them in the battle.

"One of who?" Murphy asked, taking a long and soothing drag off of the cigarette, blowing a little smoke ring for his own amusement.

"The Saints." The girl whispered her voice breathy and quiet, calm and sensual. Her eyes were bright and gray—almost frighteningly bright—and her lips were bow shaped and perfect. Murphy was quiet, saying nothing. The way he saw it, he and Connor were only the Saints when they could fucking agree on something — anything. They were only the Saints when their Da, Il Duce, was involved. And now that Da was gone, they couldn't be the Saints. Granted, they didn't even do the deed anymore. The just hid from cops, shot people who needed shooting, and that was all. Except in Connor's case. In Connor's case, having sex with Eve was just as important as eating and drinking.

"Right?" The girl asked, touching Murphy's hand. He pulled it away, the butterfly feeling in his stomach returning. He could have sworn that they would rip out of his belly and escape. It was almost painful.

"I s'pose…" He mumbled. The girl's eyes brightened again, a smile forming on her face. Her hand went up to her mouth to hide her teeth, and Murphy just frowned at her, not sure why anyone would hide their smile.

"I'm Shae." The girl said, her grin still wide behind her hand.

"Murphy." He responded, not sure if he was supposed to shake the hand of a girl in this day and age, or what. "Right, well, I should prob'ly go find somewhere to put this…" He fingered the gun in his pocket, wondering where to hide the thing away. "And den some booze." He gave Shae a curt wave, turning to go, and pushing his shaggy hair off of his forehead.

"Hey," Shae called after him. He turned slowly, pulling the cigarette away from his mouth. The only way he felt he could calm the butterflies—not even his; they were Connor's fucking bugs, floating in his stomach, Connor's giddiness from being with Eve—would be to drown them. With either a lot of beer or a lot of whiskey. Whichever he could get his hands on.

"My place is up there." She pointed up to a rather expensive looking apartment building. That would explain her shoes… "If you want a drink." She shrugged and he did, too. Free booze was better than no booze. He didn't have any cash on him except the stolen wad of hundreds he had pulled off the Russian that Shae hadn't taken. He glanced at the apartment building again, figuring that she didn't really need the cash, even if it was a thousand plus. What would she do with hundreds of most-likely dirty hundred dollar bills?

"Sure." He said, nodding. She beckoned him back and he returned to her, her hand around his elbow.

"It's cold, isn't it?" Shae asked, tugging him along. He nodded vaguely. It was always cold in Boston, even in the fucking summer.

Murphy had no idea why this girl was being so touchy. She didn't have any reason to even like him—he was a killer, they had sort of talked about this. He glanced down at the girl again, still holding his elbow, as if he was escorting her somewhere, and the butterflies came back again. He touched his stomach, hating Connor and his stupid bugs. Shae must have noticed that he was holding his stomach.

"Are you hungry?" She asked, reaching over to touch his stomach as well. He breathed in deeply, the butterflies fighting their way into his lungs, making it hard for him to breath. What the hell was Connor doing? Murphy stayed quiet, pulling his stomach away from her hand, wishing she wouldn't touch him. That disgusting floating feeling amplified when she touched him, and he didn't want to keep feeling something so extreme, that close to his lungs. He glanced up at her, seeing her worried face close to his, and realized that she had asked him a question.

"Uh... I s'pose..." He mumbled, pulling his hand up to bite at his nail.

"Do you want me to make you something to eat?" She asked, a smile forming in the corner of her mouth, only to be covered up by her hand. "I make a really good steak. Good chicken and rice, too." She said, petting his arm. He pulled his own arm away from her, the feeling coming back into his stomach. If she kept grabbing at him he was going to throw up.

"Sure," he mumbled. "No, ya don' have to." He corrected, turning to go. "It was nice to meet you, Shae." He mumbled, a finger coming up to his mouth to chew on the nail.

"No, no, please." Shae begged, reaching out to touch Murphy's hand again. "Please, let me feed you. I want to. I'm paying you back for saving me. Please." Murphy sighed loudly, really wanting to eat, but not wanting to be submit to the amplifications of the butterflies. He looked around the still empty street. "You saved me, Murphy. Let me feed you, pay you back. This is going to drive me insane for the rest of my life if you don't let me. Please...?" Murphy sighed again and nodded, not sure what else to do. She reached out to him and he pulled away, not wanting that feeling again. She frowned at him and waved a hand at him, beckoning him forward, not asking questions. He followed her quietly, tossing the butt of his cigarette down to the ground and picking another one out of his pack, and tucking it into his mouth without lighting it. Shae watched him quietly, and opened the door of the apartment building's lobby, Murphy reaching around her and holding it for her, always a gentleman. She smiled at him, showing no teeth and lead him to an elevator.

The two stood in awkward silence as Shae pushed the button for the eleventh floor, and silence more as it ascended the tower. On the door of Shae's apartment, a yellow paper flier was hanging, informing Shae that her rent was due. She pulled it off quickly, grumbling something incoherent, and dug in her purse for her keys. She pulled the door open and Murphy again, held it open for her, watching the short pretty girl walking past him.

"Do you want chicken?" She asked quietly, headed for the kitchen, pulling her stiletto heels off and tossing them into the corner of the kitchen before going to the sink and washing her hands.

"Wha' if I was a murderer?" Murphy responded, ignoring her question. "Why would you invite a stranger into yer house? I told you tha' I killed people, and you still insisted on feeding me. Is there somethin' wrong with ye?" Shae laughed, shrugging and going to the fridge.

"I don't think that you're a murderer." Shae said, holding the chicken up to him as he pulled out a chair from her dining set. "I like you. I like what you and your brother do. It needs to happen..." She smiled lightly, turning to glance at him. He continued to stare at her, an intimidating look on his face. "You guys have saved me before, you know." Murphy raised an eyebrow, still watching her, head turned slightly to one side. "You killed a bunch of Russians. I was there." She glanced down at her feet. Murphy shrugged vaguely. "They were going to kill me." Again, she shrugged, looking up at Murphy. "If they hadn't done... whatever... to piss you off, than I would be dead. I've been following you two ever since... For the past eight years. Maybe I've even been obsessed." Murphy raised his eyebrow again, just watching her in silence. What the hell was wrong with this girl? She had seen him kill people. She had heard him talk about killing people. He really didn't seem like the nice kind of guy that you could just invite into your house and ask to feed. He didn't even look like a nice guy. Eve told him that he was cute—all the time, in fact. But that was only because she knew him. If she hadn't known him, he was pretty sure that she would hate both Murphy and Connor.

He stayed quiet, just watching her as she put together a meal. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do, still sucking on his unlit cigarette. She turned to look at him, sneaking a peek awkwardly. He smiled at her, trying to stop being so negative. When he thought about it, this was a pretty good situation he was in. He got to be out of the cold weather, the icy rain that was destined to come, and he was being cooked for by a beautiful woman in a short skirt. Not that he would think about her like that—oh, no, he was a good Catholic boy. Shae flushed brightly upon seeing his smile, and turned around again, returning to the frying pan.

"Oh," She said, quietly. "I promised you booze, didn't I?" He laughed quietly as she opened her freezer, pulling out a bottle of vodka, then finding a small glass in a cupboard. "I have scotch somewhere... I just don't know where..." She handed him the glass and the bottle, giving him a quick smile before looking away.

"Ya goin' to join me?" He asked, holding out the bottle to her. She smiled again, holding her hand against her lips.

"I shouldn't. Let me cook, and then I'll think about it, alright, hon?" He laughed again, pouring himself a little glass and knocking it back quickly. They were silent again, the only sound was the cooking, chicken breast frying, rice cooking and vegetables boiling. "Do you have a girlfriend, Mr. Saint?" Shae asked, her voice small and quiet, much like Murphy's.

"Nope." Murphy said, quietly. "Celibacy and the like." He smiled at her back, wanting her to turn around. He felt this odd infatuation with her, loved her bright eyes and her odd accent. She spoke well, but the way she said her R's and L's sounded like a combination of Russian and Irish. "Wha' about you?" Murphy asked, smiling at her still. She turned around, smiling lightly, a hand coming up to cover her mouth.

"I'm straight." She said, giving a little laugh. He smiled too.

"I meant a boyfriend." Murphy verified. She looked down at her tights-clad feet, smiling still.

"I'm married to my job." She said, still smiling at her pretty little feet. Murphy watched her, almost sad that she had said that. He almost wanted her to say 'no'. It wasn't that he necessarily wanted a girl. He had seen girls change guys... Especially his brother. Maybe he was just a little sore about the whole situation, but that didn't mean that Connor hadn't completely snubbed Murphy. Eve still tried to bring Murphy into the relationship, wanted Murphy to still be important to Connor, but Connor was fixated. Murphy sighed quietly, pondering, still.

Connor was seriously different than how he had been before. Before they went to Ireland, too. Before he wasn't as big an asshole as he was now. Now, Connor was an S-Class douche bag, as Eve put it. That wasn't Eve's fault though. On top of that, Connor was pissier. He got angry even when Murphy was just joking around. He and Eve would joke about giving each other strip teases, and Connor would freak out. He started bitching at Murphy earlier this evening. He had punched Murphy. In the face. And he was just fucking around with Eve. Sure, he had started giving Eve a strip tease—not a very good one, but he had still gotten his shirt off, with Eve sitting on the couch, laughing her ass off, drinking wine. Murphy had been singing Eve "Happy Birthday," pretending to be Marilyn Monroe, and Eve had been the President. Connor didn't find it as funny as Eve and Murphy did.

None of this meant that Murphy wasn't jealous of what Eve and Connor had. He didn't like being the third wheel, especially when they went out for drinks. Sometimes they brought Romeo along, but generally speaking, Murphy and Romeo couldn't hang out together without Connor, he didn't know why, it just felt weird. But he wanted something, too. He wanted someone to love. He wanted someone to go to when he was forced to deal with the aloneness he hadn't had to suffer through since he was born—as he was the older one, he had decided, and even that was just for a fleeting minute before out popped little Connor, screaming his head off.

"Hon?" Came Shae's voice. He looked up at her, biting his lip, still holding the vodka glass in front of him oddly. A wonderful smelling plate was set in front of him and in front of the seat next to him. She sat next to him, watching him still. He watched her, too, raising an eyebrow. "Are you going to eat?" She asked, watching him watch her, an odd matronly look on her face. He picked up the fork awkwardly and she mimicked him, taking a bite of the same vegetable as he did, then moved to the meat, then to the rice, sampling a small bite of each.

"Tha's amazing." He said, taking a bigger bite. Shae smiled widely at him, hand going up to her mouth, and stood up again and went to the fridge, pulling out a bottle of wine.

"Do you want some?" She asked, holding up the bottle. He shrugged, and she laughed, grabbing two glasses out of a cupboard. She walked back to the table, leaning across to pour him a glass, her fingers lingering, grazing against Murphy's as he took it from her, raising his eyebrow at her again. She was odd. Maybe he just couldn't read women. Maybe he was in the dark. Shae took a small sip of her wine, pushing her plate away. Murphy took a sip of the deep red wine, trying to decide if he liked the taste or not. He preferred whiskey and beer to any of this fancy stuff, even though she was a girl, and probably only drank the girly stuff. She stood after a few more minutes, Murphy slowly finishing his dinner.

"I'll be right back... Okay?" Shae asked, quietly, standing up again and disappearing into a room on the far side of the dining room and kitchen. He took another swig of the wine, still not sure if it was good or not and returned to the vodka. He wondered what he was supposed to do once this all ended. After he ate, after he left this place, would they ever see each other again?

What was he supposed to do when he left? Was he supposed to just accept that he would most likely never see this odd girl who had appeared in his life out of nowhere? He could leave Eve's number. Try to see her again. He just didn't know why she would call him. Did she want to see him again? Most likely not. He was just some odd Irish guy who had appeared out of nowhere into her life, even if he had saved her. Not that she would really have _died_ without him. She would have been fine.

But Murphy. Murphy was smitten. He liked the dark haired girl. Her bright eyes excited him. Made him stare. He hoped she hadn't noticed.

"I was thinking..." Came her voice. He turned toward her voice, hoping that she wasn't a mind reader. She stood before him, leaning against the door frame, her legs crossed daintily. Naked. Murphy very nearly spit his drink of Vodka onto the floor but caught himself and turned quickly away.

"What the fuck are you doing?" He asked, a lot louder than he had meant it to be, after he swallowed the alcohol.

"You saved my life. I need to thank you..." She said, frowning at his back as he pulled his hands up to his face, setting the cold appendages against his hot and blushing face. He was terribly tempted to turn back around and look at her—he wanted to touch her—but he knew he wasn't allowed to. He _was _a good Catholic boy. He could control himself. "I figured since without you, I wouldn't have my body... You could have it." He took a deep breath, still not looking at her. He heard her bare feet padding on the floor and stared down at his feet, very nearly hyperventilating. She moved in front of him and he realized that he could see her body in his peripheral vision, and looked up at her face, forcing himself to look at her face, to not focus on the important parts hanging beautifully just in his sight. She reached to his shoulders, grabbing the back of his chair and turned it so that he was facing her, stupidly staring up at her. "I want you to have it." She whispered, stepping closer to him and moving her legs so that she was straddling his hips and sliding her arms around his shoulders. He stood abruptly and pushed her away, as usual, a little harder than he had meant it.

But what the hell else was he supposed to do? Was he supposed to just give in? To have sex with her? Was that even what she was telling him he could do? Was he just missing the point? They had only just met an hour ago. Could she really be coming this abruptly onto him? What else could she be offering him? She was standing naked before him, had clambered all over his idiotic form, and had said that she was giving him her body.

"I'm sorry, Murphy..." She said, her voice catching oddly in her throat. Murphy's hand went up to his mouth, and he turned around so her pale body wasn't even in his peripheral vision. "Whats the matter?" He shook his head, and Shae reached out to touch his shoulder.

"Could you please put some clothes on?" Murphy asked, the butterflies appearing in his stomach again at her touch. He felt her hand slightly pull away, felt her tense up.

"Why don't you want me? I mean, you're a guy, right? You aren't gay, are you?"

"No, I'm not." Murphy responded, still not looking at her. "Please, put something the fuck on."

"Why don't you want me?" Shae asked again, pulling on Murphy's coat, trying to make him look at her. Her voice sounded sad, hurt.

"I don' know... I wouldn' know what to do..." Murphy mumbled, avoiding her eyes, avoiding looking at her when she succeeded in turning him around. Her fingers reached out, touched his cheeks lightly, making him look at her. Watching his eyes with her own.

"Are you a virgin?" He stared at her in shock for a few seconds before figuring that she was serious. He shook his head, biting his lip and looking away. "Do you want me?" Murphy bit his lip, not sure what to do, like always. Was he allowed to say yes? Was it bad if he did want her? He wanted her badly. The butterflies in his gut felt like they were going to start ripping out of there angrily. He felt so anxious, he could feel his hands getting damp with nervousness. Shae's hands caressed his cheek, a thumb running across his lip. He wanted to say yes. He wanted to want her. He nodded, involuntarily.

Shae's hand found Murphy's and she took it softly, leading him to the room she had exited from, her bedroom. "I can teach you." She said, smiling at him, her face sultry and calm.

Shae pushed him onto the bed, sitting on the edge in quiet confusion. She knelt at his feet, and he stared at her, his eyebrow quirked in confusion. The laces of his boots came undone, and they were pulled from his feet, tossed aside, Shae smiling up at him, bit her lip oddly. Next, his socks came off and were tossed over to meet his shoes. Her hands trailed up the sides of his thighs, encased in the same trashy jeans he had been wearing since his old ones had gotten too disgusting to wear out in public, filled with holes and tears, stains of dirt, dried blood, and God only knows what else all over them.

She stood slowly, standing in front of him, waiting for Murphy to do something. He reached out and touched her sides, naked and soft, smelling of perfume and of sweat. She smelt like a hard day's work, and of men's cologne. He pulled her toward him, set his forehead against her stomach, not sure what to do now that he had her in his arms. She smiled, stroking a hand along his arm and over his shoulders, pulling on his jacket. She pushed it away from his shoulders and tossed it over to the side of the room, letting it join his shoes and socks. Murphy's breathing got heavy, the butterflies in his stomach making it hard for him to breathe again. His hands fell to his sides, pulling away from Shae. She smiled again, moving closer to him and straddling his hips once more. She pulled on the bottom of his t-shirt, smiling seductively.

"Do you want to tell me what you want?" She asked him, pulling the shirt over his head, lifting his arms up slowly, stroking along them. He shrugged as she stroked his pale skin, drawing lines along his chest with fingertips. "Do you want to kiss me?"Again, Murphy shrugged, one hand reaching up to her, hovering centimeters away from her arm. "Do you want me to kiss you?" This time his fingers touched her elbow, stroking the skin awkwardly. She sighed quietly, her arms tracing around his skinny shoulders to lean down to his neck with a series of soft little kisses. He stayed still, arms poised to coil around her without touching her. She caressed his arms, pulling them against her, encouraging him. "You can touch me." She said, her voice still quiet. She pulled away from him, to watch his confused and pretty face, a hand stroking his forehead, pushing his hair away from his eyes. She sighed, and reached behind her to take his hand, pulling it around to the front of her.

"What--" She shushed him quietly, spreading his shy fingers out, and pressing his hands against her stomach.

"Feel..." She mumbled. He looked at her, eyes wide in confusion, he obeyed quietly, letting her lead his hand over her body, stomach, ribs and up to her chest. He shied away from her breast, and she smiled, somehow knowing that he didn't feel comfortable with the feel of her womanly assets. She flattened his hand out against her breast, breathing heavily in at his cold fingers. He left his hand there, not sure what else to do. She let go of his hand and he pulled quickly away. She sighed softly and touched his cheek, stroking his face again. "What do you want me to do?" She asked him, her hands still against his pretty face, scruffy as it may be. "If you're too shy to touch me, I don't know what I'm supposed to do." He watched her in silence and she ran her hand over his forehead, pushing his hair back again. "Maybe we should just get you out of these?" Shae pulled on his belt buckle, showing she meant his pants. He raised his eyebrow at her, not sure what else to do, once again. He was very vague on the whole matter, he didn't know if he was supposed to touch her, if he was, where he was supposed to touch her. He didn't know if he was supposed to kiss her, and where if he was supposed to.

Shae stroked over his shoulders and down to his chest, pushing him onto his back gently. He laid awkwardly as she undid his belt buckle and pants, and eased him out of them slowly, leaving him in his too-big boxer shorts, making him look smaller than he did already.

She sat beside him and looked down at him with an almost sad smile, setting a hand on either side of his head, leaning over him to kiss at his chest, little halfway defined muscles peeking through his pale, tattooed skin. Murphy's hands found Shae's waist, pulled her close to him. She smiled at his touch, caressing his fingers on her own soft skin. His knees bent up awkwardly, and he pulled her hips over his own. She stepped over his hips, straddling his skinny waist. He stroked up along her curves, biting his lip awkwardly, shyly.

"I want..." He mumbled, his voice nearly gone. It caught in his throat and he cleared it with a swift cough, starting over. "I want..." He couldn't work up the nerve to tell Shae what he wanted, didn't know where to start, how to say it. He reached out to her, lifting her face up to him, his fingers hooked delicately under her jaw. He lifted his mouth up to hers, going to kiss her, only to feel his lips connect with her soft cheek.

"Not on the mouth, honey...." Shae whispered at him in explanation. He started to ask why before her teeth dug into his earlobe and her small, warm hand slid its way down his stomach and underneath his boxers, her little warm fingers wrapping around his member. He let out a little sound of shock, and Shae's mouth moved to his neck, warm and hot. "Is this okay?" She asked, quietly, looking up at him from his throat. He bit into his lip, face red. "What's wrong?" She ran a hand over his cheek, pulling her other hand away from between his legs.

"Nothin'... I'm sorry..." Murphy mumbled, pulling away and sitting up, going to get off the bed. "I should go..." Shae reached out, took his hand as he stood awkwardly beside the bed, fixing his shorts.

"No, you don't have to go, Murphy... What did I do wrong?" Shae asked, that same begging look on her face that she had shown him so long ago... He glanced at a clock. Okay, so only an hour and a half. But it seemed so long ago. His stomach felt sore again, the butterflies back again. He groaned at them, wishing they would leave him the fuck alone, and letting go of her hand in the process.

"Yer fine." He mumbled, not looking at her, glaring fixedly at the sketch of a pair of hands clasped together, hanging on her wall. His hand drifted up to his mouth, and he bit into his finger. "Its just... I'm not... I don' know wha' to do... Yer so... I don' know." Shae stood slowly, reaching out to take his hand again. He watched her quietly and she dropped his pretty hand, her arms around his neck and pushing her hips close to his. He looked at her in confusion, one hand going to set on her lower back. She smiled at him slyly, hiding her mouth from him after a second, looking down. He pushed his hand against her back, reaching to touch her chin. "Why do you do that?" Murphy murmured, watching her face. She shook her head softly, shoulders rising and falling cutely. She pushed her chest against his, and he turned redder, stroking her cheek with a thumb.

"I want to make you feel good..." She whispered, stroking the back of his neck. "Tell me what you want... Okay?" He bit his lip lightly and she watched him, a thoughtful look on her face. "Show me." She whispered, again, her little voice sensual and low. Murphy pulled her face up again, looking her over quietly before pushing his mouth onto her's lightly. She pulled only slightly away before giving into his mouth. He pulled her pale, curved body up against his. Shae's hands moved across Murphy's shoulders, and her mouth moved away from his, Murphy's hand falling from her cheek. She moved her mouth to his neck, biting his throat lightly before kissing him and sucking against the pale skin. He ran a hand over her back, not sure what else to do. She gave a little laugh, reaching down his front to pull on the top of his boxers.

"Is this okay?" She asked. Murphy pulled her face back up to look at her, before pushing his mouth against hers again. She pushed his shorts down his legs, kissing him back with a smile. Murphy stepped out of and kicked his shorts away from him, all his shyness suddenly gone. His hands moved along her back, over her ass, and across her shoulders. She smiled again against his mouth, and bit into his lip, her arms going up around his shoulders again. She pulled him toward her and toward the bed. He followed her step by baby step.

Murphy felt sickly anxious, not sure why, the floating feeling in his stomach nearly choking him. He was scared he was going to throw up, they were torturing his gut so fiercely, which was just making him more nervous, making them worse. It was at this point that he realized that all those butterflies from before belonged to him, not Connor. He pulled his mouth softly away from Shae's, still holding her softly. She raised her eyebrow at him, touching his cheek again.

It was the same feeling that Connor got when he was with Eve. Connor was in love with Eve. Was Murphy in love with Shae? It was far too early to tell, wasn't it? He touched his stomach lightly, and Shae continued to watch him with the same worried look. Murphy stepped away from her, hand going up to cover his mouth. He was in shock with himself. Did he seriously feel something so strongly for this odd Russian girl? He looked her over, reached out and stroked her cheek, still holding onto his stomach. Again, he felt like he was falling. He felt something. Was it love? He pushed a hand against his forehead. How long had he known her? He glanced up at the clock again. 9:47. It had been an hour and forty-seven minutes. Did he believe in that bullshit? 'Love at first sight?' He didn't think that he did. He looked at her again, watching him like he was insane.

"I'm sorry..." He said again, biting his lip. Shae moved toward him, as he had begun pacing, chewing on his thumbnail.

"What's the matter, Muirnin?" Murphy raised an eyebrow at her. He had known that he had heard Irish in her accent, he shook his head, realizing that that didn't really matter at this point. 'Sweetheart...' He thought quietly, mentally translating her Gaelic into English. He shook his head again, looking around for his shorts, planning on getting out before he did anything stupid that he would have to regret. He leaned down and picked them up, only for Shae to touch his hand. "What's the matter? If you don't want me just say it, Murphy... Am I doing something wrong?" He shook his head again, reaching out to touch her cheek lightly.

"I don' fuckin' know..." He mumbled. She frowned at him, touching his arm and leaning forward to kiss his cheek.

"Please, Murphy." She whispered, kissing him lightly on the mouth, now. He kissed her back, stroking her chin gently. "I want you to want me." He frowned at her. Why didn't she understand how badly he wanted her? He wanted her so badly he thought he was going to be sick. He wanted more than just her. He wanted to be with her. He wanted to have her. To call her his. Was he allowed to say that? Would she hate him if he did? He bit his lip, again, figuring there were probably some dark marks where he kept biting at it.

"I do." He mumbled. "I want you so bad." He gave a short laugh, going back to biting his nail. She gave him another smile, covering her mouth with a hand quickly. He frowned lightly, wishing she wouldn't hide the smile from him.

"I'm trying to give me to you..." She whispered, pressing her naked body against his own, kissing his mouth lightly, after pushing his hand away from his mouth. "Take it, Sweetie." He smiled lightly and kissed her back. Maybe she wouldn't hate him. Maybe he could wait. He didn't have to tell her how he felt. He could just imply it over the next few months... Would they even ever talk again? When he thought about it, he didn't really think she would care to see him again. He had started out being a real dick to her, and it wasn't like she had shown any interest in him or anything. He sighed lightly, his arms tighter around her waist. She tugged on his shoulders, pushing her mouth harder against him, and pulled him toward the bed. He followed her lead, a hand sliding down her back Her knees hit the bed and she fell, pulling him down on top of her. He held himself awkwardly over her, mouth still pressed onto hers, trying to show that he.... What? Loved her? He had no fucking clue what he felt. It was pretty much a lost cause. Another sigh. Shae pushed her hips up against his, making him blush and take a deep breath in. She grinned, biting his lip. One of her hands sneaked down his side, and down between his legs, rubbing him lightly again. He blushed brighter when he got hard and she just kissed him again, happy that she had achieved easily what she wanted. He thought it would be a lot harder for him to... Seeing as he didn't get much 'action'. He was _way_ out of practice. He barely remembered what sex felt like... Apparently pretty good, though, as he was really starting to enjoy the feeling of butterflies cutting off the circulation to his head... or maybe it was all the blood rushing from his brain and to a different part of his body.

He looked down at Shae, and she looked quickly away. He frowned, leaning down to kiss her perfect mouth again. She really was a gorgeous girl, he touched her lip lightly with a finger, tracing the outline of her lower lip. She smiled lightly, and rolled him onto his back, moving on top of his naked hips. Leaning over him, she reached underneath the pillow, pulling out an Altoids tin, and from it extracting a condom. She tossed the tin over to a desk in the corner, tearing the package of the condom quickly and tossing it over the side of the bed. Murphy reached out and touched her wide hips, stroking up along her ribs. He was anticipating her body, how she would feel. He wanted her, and he wanted her now. She rolled the condom over his hard-on professionally, and he groaned up at her, the sensation making his whole chest hurt... It felt amazing.

He sat up, wrapping her up in his arms, pulling her against him. He pushed his mouth on hers, kissing her deeply. She smiled, kissing him back, her hand still wrapped around the base of him. She slipped him into her, sliding down him slowly, a leg around his waist, the other bracing her up. Murphy's fingers slid along her sides and down her leg, feeling every aspect of her body, just wanting her. He loved the way she felt, breathing heavily against his mouth as he breathed right back. He clung to her groaning quietly as Shae moved on him, pulling him deep into her, her hands setting on his shoulders.

"Shae..." He mumbled, his voice strained, not sure why, just feeling like he needed to say something. She smiled lightly, stroking his cheeks. He pushed his mouth up against hers again, kissing her deeply. She bit at his lips lightly, still stroking his cheeks. One of Murphy's hands wandered across her stomach, stroking with gentle fingertips, finding her chest. He cupped one of her large breasts, his thumb running across her nipple before he pulled his hand away, figuring he was doing it wrong anyways.

Shae smiled at him, running a hand down over his chest, fingers drawing shapes against his skin. He frowned at her, with a quiet groan before pulling her close to him again and pushing her onto her back, moving back on top of her and pushing into her. She gave a quiet moan, a hand going up to her mouth as if it was accidental. Murphy pushed his mouth against her neck, trying to get her to enjoy it. He didn't know how long he could go on, and he wanted her to feel good, too, wanted her to want him.

Shae's legs tightened around Murphy's waist. She moaned again quietly, her arms sliding around his shoulders. She reached to him, pulling his mouth up to hers again, kissing him deeply, fervently. Murphy groaned lightly, biting into her lip, trying to keep himself from finishing before... he didn't know what he was waiting for. Would she tell him? Was he supposed to read her mind, just know when she was done?

"Shae...?" He asked, breathing so heavily he could barely speak. She bit into his mouth again, stroking his shoulders. Murphy felt her, deep inside her, throb. Her muscles tightening all over her body, her legs tightening again. What the fuck was happening to her? He pulled away to look at her face, trying to figure out if he was hurting her, only to feel his own body stop short. His stomach clenched up, and he finished with a loud groan. He held himself over her for a few seconds, breathing deeply, so confused. "I'm sorry...." He mumbled, touching her cheek. He fell, his body feeling so weak. "I'm sorry..." He whispered again, mouth against her shoulder. Shae's arms tightened around him, hand petting his hair, damp with sweat.

"It's okay, sweetheart..." She whispered back, holding him quietly, her arms so warm against Murphy's hot body. Murphy's hands ran along her sides gently, wanting to touch her even if he didn't feel like moving. "Hon?" Shae asked quietly. Murphy groaned quietly, figuring she was going to tell him to get up and get out. Would she really just throw him out into the cold like that? He hoped that she wouldn't-- "Can I see you again?" She asked. Murphy smiled widely, clinging to her ribcage.

"Aye..." He mumbled, sighing deeply. She held him tightly, still petting his damp hair, humming quietly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Murphy awoke to the sound of scratching and the odd smell of girly perfume. He was coiled in the warm embrace of clean sheets and warm blankets, his head resting against a much-too-soft pillow. He didn't want to get up. He was so comfortable and warm.

But that scratching noise was terribly intriguing. He opened one tentative eye, and then the other, seeing the same beautiful girl that he had spent an amazing night with sitting before him, curled up on the floor with a notepad in her lap.

"What're you doin'?" He asked her quietly, clearing his throat. She looked up at him with a soft smile, biting her lip so he couldn't see her teeth.

"Close your eyes again." She said, quietly. He raised an eyebrow, going to sit up.

"What're you doin'?" He repeated, stretching up. She sighed and pouted at him before standing up to caress his cheeks.

"I was drawing this pretty little face of yours. You look gorgeous when you sleep." He reached out to her, pulling her down into his lap, covering her with her own warm comforter. She smoothed it over their legs, leaning against Murphy's delicate chest.

"Can I see?" He asked. She frowned over her shoulder at him, her bottom lip poking out, already painted red.

"It isn't finished. You got up and moved, instead of listening to me." He kissed her lip softly.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled, holding her tight, still, one hand running up and down over her ribs. She touched his hand, smiling softly, kissing him back. "Can I see anyways?" She pouted and opened the sketchbook back up setting it into his waiting hands. He leaned his chin on her shoulder, and she reached up to stroke his cheek, humming at him the same way she had earlier in the night. He flipped through the sketchbook, smiling softly, still holding her. "These are really good, Shae..." He mumbled close to her ear. She smiled and took the notebook back, flipping to a picture of hands, Murphy's tattooed hands. AEQUITAS, in a perfect replication of Connor's odd handwriting, and the little star on his knuckle.

"Lots of practice." She said, quietly, petting his hair. Murphy stroked her sides, holding her against him. "Do you want breakfast, hon?" He smiled, coiling his arms around her waist.

"Aye." He murmured, kissing her shoulder. She continued to pet his soft hair, leaning against his chest.

"What do you want?" Shae asked him, turning to look at him. He smiled at her and kissed her mouth. She smiled at him, nuzzling his forehead awkwardly against hers. She bit her lip, kissing him lightly again.

"Anehthin'." She smiled still, and he kissed her again, stroking her ear. She grinned, now, looking down.

"I don't know how to make 'anehthin''." Shae said, making fun of Murphy. He laughed, and licked her mouth, making her laugh too, turning fully to face him. He grinned at her and pushed her over, moving on top of her with another lick across the mouth. "You're a weird one." She said, pulling on a piece of his shaggy hair ever-so-gently. He continued to grin at her, coiling his arms around her waist, his mouth going to her chest, kissing her breast plate deeply. She gave a quiet, shy giggle, cradling his head against her chest, stroking his hair softly. "Want an omelet?" He smiled, turning his chin to look up at her. "And waffles?" He nodded.

"I wan' ev'rehthin'" Murphy said, kissing her chin, and up to her lip. "I'm so damn hungry, I could just eat you." Shae laughed quietly, still petting his hair.

"I would be sad if you ate me." She mumbled, holding his ears. He smiled at her, kissing her again.

"I wouldn' chew. I woul' be delicate." Murphy said, kissing her mouth deeply before biting her lip, moving to her ear and biting her there.

"Well, you would still be eating me. I would die." Murphy frowned in thought, pulling back to look at her calmly.

"Oh." He said, quietly. "Maybe I wouldn' eatchu." He mumbled, kissing her mouth. "Maybe jus' lick you all over. Sample you, like." Shae started laughing again, her hand going up to cover her mouth, laughing so hard her legs bent up, holding her stomach. Murphy smiled at her, happy to see her smile. He truly wanted to know why she covered her mouth like that. He touched her arm, grabbed the soft wrist of the hand that covered her mouth. He pulled it up to his mouth, pushing her other hand away from her still smiling mouth. She bit her lip, trying so desperately to hide the smile. He licked her wrist and she nearly smiled again, biting her lip harder. He frowned at her and leaned down to kiss her lightly. "Why do you do tha'? He asked, kissing her lip lightly.

"I don't know, I just do." She mumbled, kissing him back. Murphy stroked her side, pushing his mouth harder on hers. She coiled her arms around his neck after freeing them from his hands, pulling his mouth down harder to hers. Murphy's hand sneaked up the bottom of her dress, fingers caressing her smooth thigh.

"Oh, shit!" Murphy suddenly yelled, standing up. "It's fuckin' Sundee, innit?" He said, loudly, running around the room butt-naked to find his clothes. Shae watched him with a raised eyebrow, Murphy still running, mumbling incoherently.

"What are you doing?" Shea asked, standing also, reaching out to grab his arm.

"It's fuckin' Sundee. I gotta go to church..." Shae frowned at him, hand dropping to her side. She quickly exited the room, and he frowned after her, feeling like an idiot. Did he seriously just blow her off? He fell onto the the bed with a loud sigh, wishing he had thought about something, anything. Why hadn't he just apologized? He could have missed one stupid day of church. Its not like he ever missed a day any other time. He stood up again, following Shae out of the room, naked and cold. She was returning to the bedroom, holding a stack of perfectly folded clothes. She set the stack on the back of the couch, her face sad and far away. "I'm sorry..." He mumbled, touching her cheek. She shushed him softly, pressing a finger to his lips. He frowned at her in confusion, his hands dropping to his sides.

Shae knelt at his feet, pushing a hand against the floor to steady herself. She coaxed one Murphy's feet up, and then the other, sliding his pale colored boxers slowly up his pale legs, kissing at his stomach on the way up. She pulled his gray t-shirt out of the pile next, sliding it over his muscular arms and broad, skinny shoulders before pulling it over his head, tousling his long hair before smoothing it down, styling it with her warm, small fingers. He watched her sadly as she stared at him, her face also sad. She ran a hand over his chest, smoothing the shirt against his stomach, her fingers lingering as she leaned to grab his jeans. He took them from her, his fingers grazing against hers before he pulled them over his skinny legs on his own, noticing the holes, the stains. They were disgusting. His t-shirt had a hole in the sleeve, and the stitching at the neck was coming undone.

Shae pressed herself against Murphy's chest, kissing his breastplate softly. He coiled his arms around her and she buttoned the pants for him, zipping the fly slowly. He continued to hold her, pressing his cheek against the top of her head, not sure why him going to church seemed like such a big deal. Why did he feel so sad that they had to separate?

He knew the answer. He was scared that he wouldn't ever see her again. He felt that she would be done with him already. He wanted to come back. He wanted her so bad.

"Can I stay?" He asked her, voice so quiet. She stroked his stomach, clinging to his threadbare shirt.

"You should go." Shae mumbled, looking up at him. He frowned at her still, wishing that she had said yes. Her lips pouted out slightly, watching him, her bright eyes on Murphy's own. "But..." She went quiet and Murphy leaned close to her mouth, kissing her softly, hoping he didn't have disgusting hangover breath, though she didn't seem to mind if he did. She had kissed him earlier this morning, and hadn't said anything. She kissed him softly back, trying not to push him. "I want you to stay. I want you to come back." He stroked her cheek, pushing his mouth onto hers again, pushing hard, wanting all of her. She pulled on his t-shirt, pulling him close to her. He gave her another tight hug, squeezing her softly, her arms slipping around him in response. "Its cold, Piumcin. Be careful." She whispered, kissing him again before pulling away from him and grabbing his coat off of the couch, helping him into it and straightening the shoulders, ignoring the bullet hole just like she had ignored the bullet holes that made up most of his arms and legs, luckily none on his chest or stomach.

He kissed her again after she helped him into his shoes, even though he told her that he could do it himself, fighting her away from his feet. She smiled, reached up to his cheeks and kissed him again.

"I'll see you soon, okay?" He whispered, kissing her chin. She smiled at him, biting his lip lightly, longingly.

"You're going to be late." She whispered back. He nodded, pulling himself away from her, stroking her arm before exiting quickly, knowing that if he stayed any longer he wouldn't be able to leave.

***Murphy slid into the near-empty pew next to Eve, Connor on her other side. Connor leaned across Eve to glare at Murphy. He glared back, before returning to staring straight ahead.

"Where the fuck have ye been?" Connor whispered angrily. Murphy turned to glare at him again before returning forward, shaking his head and hoping that Connor would stay quiet through the rest of the service. He wouldn't mind his brothers interrogations,but right now was definitely not the best time. Connor turned his own gaze forward, and returned to whatever prayer he had been making. Murphy shook his head at his brothers blasphemous ways, crossing himself before leaning forward to also pray.

He felt a hand on the back of his neck and looked up to see Eve giving him an apologetic look. She then rolled her eyes, silently apologizing for Connor's being a bitch. He nodded slightly and gave her a swift smile—apology accepted.

Murphy didn't know how much praying he was going to get done, his mind racing back to Shae, her curvaceous, wonderful body, her wide, full mouth, her hands, soft and warm, and her bright gray eyes. He thought about the backwards, yet still oddly erotic goodbye, of her dressing him. Her knowing, his pure inexperience, and finally his mind raced to fantasies of future encounters.

He only hoped Connor couldn't tell what he was thinking.... Especially while he knelt in the House of God... And quickly apologized to The Lord, for being just as blasphemous as his brother.

***"Well?" Connor asked the second Murphy exited the church, his hands going into his pocket to find his cigarettes, and his lighter. He lifted the pack up to dig for a cig, only to find it empty. He grumbled, tossing the empty pack into a garbage can. Connor offered Murphy one of his, understanding his addiction, even if he was going to be a bitch about everything else. Murphy took it, mumbling a quick thanks. "Where the hell have ye been?" Murphy looked down, lighting the borrowed cigarette, taking a long drag.

If Connor could understand the addiction Murphy had to cigarettes, maybe he would get Murphy's addiction to Shae. He sighed.

"Seriously, Murph." Connor said, moving in front of his brother to look at him. "Where the hell were ye? Ye didn' come 'ome last night. We was fuckin' worried." Murphy frowned at his twin, getting frustrated by the stupidity of him.

"I'm perfe'ly fine, ain' I?" He asked, loudly. "I'm not dead, or injured. So why the fuck worry abou' me?" Connor frowned back at Murphy, glaring.

"We didn' know!" Connor yelled as Murphy walked away, fed up with Connor.

"I was _out_." Murphy mumbled, taking another long drag.

"Out _where_? You usually come 'ome before church, at leas'. We thoughchu fuckin' died!"

"I was in the same place I always fuckin' go." Murphy responded angrily. Connor glared quietly. He tossed the finished cigarette to the ground, not looking at Connor.

"Ye gonna tell me where the fuck tha' is?" Murphy turned to give his brother the dirtiest look he could muster. Shae and him had been up mostly all night, and it was only eight in the morning right now.

"Fuckin' out, Connor. Why does it suddenly matter where the fuck I go?" Connor glared at him, pointing an angry finger into Murphy's face.

"Because you never fuckin' came home. What if you were dead?" Murphy was silent, wishing he had another cigarette, something to do with his hands. He crammed them into his pockets, fingers wrapping around his lighter. "I got this feelin' like you was in a fight." Connor went on, still glaring, his voice crescendoing into a loud tenor. "I though' ye fuckin' died, Murph. Ye couldn' 'ave fuckin' called me?" Murphy stayed quiet, not looking at Connor.

"I'll keep tha' in mind." He mumbled, staring at the ground. He felt as though he should tell Connor that he was being an immense dick, and that he had changed drastically, he had become paranoid, condescending and, essentially, crazy. "You know," He started, not really sure why he should tell Connor, or where he was going to go with the beginning of his statement. Connor turned away from Murphy, headed off fucking somewhere. "What the hell?" Murphy yelled at him. Connor turned around to glare at him, frowning. "You're a fuckhead." Murphy said, pointing his finger, now.

"What the hell?" Connor responded. Murphy kept his finger pointed, Connor standing in the middle of the road, in the turn lane so that he didn't get hit by any cars—not that Murphy would really care if his brother got hit. Especially if it was a small car that only hurt him, maybe broke an arm.

"Why the fuck do you suddenly give a shit abou' where I go? Why does it suddenly matter if I get hurt?" Connor started across the street again, glaring at Murphy and his angry finger. "Last night you punched me in the face. For bein' shitfaced. We was messin' around, Connor! I took my shirt off! Its not like I was seducing Eve! She just thought it was funny. Which was the fuckin' point, idiot!" Connor was silent, glaring at Murphy. Murphy bit into his finger. "I mean, you're so fuckin' stupid. You're an emotional bitch, Connor. Are you fuckin' pregnant?" Connor reached out, hit Murphy over the head, hard. Murphy glared and hit Connor back, in the eye, not really meaning to hit him as hard as he did.

"Fuck you, Connor." Murphy yelled, flipping his brother the bird before stomping off, headed to Eve's place of work. He glanced over his shoulder at his brother—who usually got the worst of things, when thought about thoroughly. Connor was holding his eye, watching Murphy walk away.

Murphy quickly turned his eyes to the ground, sticking his hands back into his pockets. He was lucky it was so early in the morning, and that no one was ever in the streets of Boston anymore for some odd reason.

***Murphy pushed the doors of Sundance open slowly, and gave Eve a curt wave and slight smile. She grinned back, her eyes tired, and her red hair pulled up in a loose ponytail. She pointed vaguely at a booth near the door. He slid into the booth and Eve brought him a menu, and sat it in front of him. Murphy smiled up at her, lifting the menu only to hand it back to her.

"Just coffee, sis. Can I talk to you? Whenever you get off." Eve glanced around at the cafe and nodded at him.

"Should only take a little. Like half an hour." Murphy nodded, watching her quietly. "I'll bring you your coffee, hon." Murphy nodded quietly, slouching back against the bench.

The anxiety of the coming night was making him oddly sick to the stomach. He wanted to see Shae so badly. Eve passed by every couple minutes, giving Murphy looks of concern, or encouraging smiles.

***"Okay, Murph." Eve asked, almost exactly half an hour later, sliding into the opposite side of the booth with a plate of fries. Murphy sighed and set his head into his hands, leaning over. "Whats up, man?" He picked at a paper napkin, ripping it into tiny shreds. "Seriously, are you sick? Where's Connor at anyways?" Murphy shot her a glare to inform her that he had no desire to speak about his idiot brother. "I thought you said you wanted to talk to me." Murphy sighed again, leaning back against booth. He swiped tiredly at his face.

"I met a girl." He mumbled. Eve's face lightened, and she smiled excitedly, even after Murphy shot her another dirty look. "Don' tell Connor. I don' want him to know. Because he's being a dick and tha's wha' he deserves." Eve nodded vaguely. "And speaking of Connor... I punched him in the face as payback for last night. He probably has a black eye." Eve nodded, sighing also.

"So...?" She asked, making Murphy realize that he hadn't actually divulged any information. He put a thumb against his lips, biting into his nail.

"I need help."Eve's eyebrow quirked up again. Murphy slumped in his seat, hands coming up to cover his exhausted face. Eve watched him quietly.

"What's up, Murph?" He made an odd noise in his throat in response, pulling his hands down from his face and leaning across the table to Eve. She leaned in, looking prepared to have a secret.

"I'm infatuated." Once more, Eve's eyebrow perked up. "I was with 'er all night... An' I'm goin' back to see 'er tonight." Eve smiled widely, clapping her hands together. Murphy reached out to close her hands in his.

"You're smitten, Murphy! You have a girlfriend!" She squealed, getting a little too excited. Murphy smiled, too, not really thinking that Shae was a girlfriend. She was just... wonderful.

"But last night, we... Uh..." he trailed off, hands twirling, looking for the proper word.

"Fucked?" Eve interjected. Murphy stopped abruptly, hands still in the air, staring at her in confusion.

"Righ'." He mumbled, taking an awkward breath. He took a long swig of coffee, almost scared to ask Eve the simple question that needed to be asked. He didn't necessarily need to ask Eve. He could just ask Shae. She knew exactly what Murphy wanted, what he needed. Maybe she knew what she wanted.

"So what do you need my help for?" Eve asked. "You already got her naked, didn't you?" Murphy frowned at Eve, wondering where she she had gotten so perverted. He didn't think that she had been such a perv before she started hanging out with Connor all the time.

"No, I did... Jus'... I couldn'...." He flailed his hands, trying to come up with the word. It wasn't that he couldn't make himself say it, he just didn't know how to say it. Eve raised her eyebrow at him, waiting for him to say it. Eve opened her mouth, to say something as well, then closed it. Murphy sighed, not knowing how he was going to have this conversation.

"You couldn't get it up?" She guessed. Murphy sighed again, taking another long drink of coffee and wishing he had gotten a pack of cigarettes on the way over.

"I managed tha', thank you." He sighed, sticking a finger into his now-lukewarm coffee. "I couldn' get her to..."

"Suck your dick?"

"Eve!" Murphy yelled, staring at her in disbelief. "You are a huge pervert! What has Connor done to you?"

"Connor hasn't done anything. I promise—I made him the pervert." Eve said, laughing. Murphy sighed loudly again, his head falling into his hands on the table. "I still fail to see what you need help with." Murphy groaned at her and pondered. How could he word it? He had no experience with girls. He had no idea how to say what he meant.

"I tried..." He mumbled. "I wanted her to enjoy it." Eve raised her eyebrow as Murphy set his chin on his hands. His voice fell to a whisper. "Righ' when she started to... I couldn'. It was over. I wan' her to enjoy it. To like it. I don' know wha' to do. Wha' am I s'posed to do?" He bit his thumb, watching Eve quietly.

"Whats her name?" Eve asked with a sly smile. "I'll divulge no further information until you divulge to me this information." Murphy groaned quietly.

"You won' tell Connor?" Eve crossed her heart, showing she promised. "Her name is Shae." Eve grinned.

"What does she look like? Tell me about her Murphy! I want to meet her." Murphy frowned at Eve.

"You 'elp me, and I'll tell you more abou' Shae." Eve frowned and touched her lip, suddenly remembering her plate of fries. She lifted one up to her mouth. Murphy reached across the table to take a fry as well.

"Does she like you...?" She asked quietly. Murphy shrugged, taking another fry, suddenly realizing how hungry he was. He hadn't had his breakfast.

"I think so." Murphy said quietly, once again lifting one of Eve's french fries. "We kind of agreed.... I don' know."

"Did you just jump into sex? Or did you do something before? Like, foreplay?" Murphy raised an eyebrow at her, not understanding what foreplay was. "Like, did you play with her? Touch her?" Murphy blushed lightly, looking down again.

"I couldn'." Eve raised an eyebrow, in confusion. "I couldn' touch her.. Could' make myself."

"Why?" Murphy kept his face down in his arms, quiet.

"I don' know. She's so wonderful." He looked up at Eve. "I did touch her. I... Couldn' though. D'you understand...?" Eve frowned, not getting it at all.

"Murphy?" He nodded, still looking up at her sadly. "Use your big-boy words." He laughed, softly, looking down again. "Why couldn't you touch her? What kind of touching are we talking about?"

"Her tits are... Huge, Eve. I couldn'. They fuckin' scared me. They were so huge. I didn' know wha' to do with 'em." Eve laughed, patting Murphy's head. "I touched her stomach, and her legs. Just not her... Chest."

"What about her... Naughty bits? None of that?" Murphy stared at Eve in disbelief. "You are allowed to, you know." He closed his mouth, nodding slightly, then glancing around the diner, making sure no one was listening in.

"Is that good? Do they like that?'

"Uh, I don't know. I think I need more information." Murphy sighed, touching his lip. "What does she look like?" Eve asked, poking her lips out in a pout, trying to encourage him to tell her.

"She's gorgeous." Murphy said. "She's half Russian... So she looks very Russian... Full eyebrows, beautiful lips." He held his hand out, and Eve handed him a pen, knowing. He grabbed at a paper napkin, drawing Shae's bow-shaped lips, smiling softly, he started drawing the rest of her face. He wasn't an amazing artist, but it was still good enough, he thought. He drew her pretty eyebrows and a failed attempt at her long black hair. "'Er eyes, Sis. They're so bright. Gray." Eve watched Murphy drawing and pat his head again.

"You're definitely in love, dear."

"Can I be?" Murphy asked, frowning now, handing Eve the little napkin. She poured over it, and Murphy watched in silence. "I just met her last night." Eve looked up at him, raising an eyebrow.

"I thought you knew her." She said, looking a little disturbed. Murphy looked taken aback. "I thought you met her forever ago, and you just now had sex." Murphy shook his head, frowning.

"No," Murphy mumbled. "An' tha's why its so weird." He said, looking up at her again. "I just met 'er last night. I got this feelin'. In me stomach. Like butterflies. An' I knew. I could feel it. In my stomach."

"You really like her?" He nodded. "And this isn't going to be a one-night-stand sort of thing that's going to hurt both of you?" He shrugged.

"I'm goin' back. I wanna see 'er again. If she dun want to see me, wha' am I s'posed to do?" Eve shrugged and Murphy grabbed at her fries again. "Will you tell me? Jus' in case she do wan' me...?" Eve smiled, lightly, taking her pen back from Murphy. He watched her and she drew what he imagined was supposed to be the 'Naughty Bits' of a woman. He raised his eyebrow at her, and she continued to draw.

"Do you know what a clit is?" Murphy shook his head, turning red as she pushed the napkin drawing toward him. "Its like... a fancy little button, right in front of the hole--" here, she pointed to her drawing, at the hole. "And you massage it. Girls like it when you do. But you have to be gentle with it... Give me your finger." Murphy raised his eyebrow, again, seriously confused. Eve was good like that. He held his hand out to her all the same, and she pulled a single finger out of the fist he was making, and set one of her little fingers against the very tip of his. Again, he raised his eyebrow at her. She massaged the tip of his finger, slowly, gently. "See? Light. Soft." He continued to stare at her in confusion. "Oh. Your finger is the clit. Explanations are nice, aren't they?" He nodded, now paying attention to the movement of her finger. Eve laughed quietly, pulling her hand away.

"G-spots are another big thing."Murphy returned his hand to underneath his chin, watching her quietly. "Do you know what they are?" He shook his head. She sighed at him. "Its a little spot... On the inside of the--"

"Nope." Murphy said, quietly.

"No?" Eve asked, raising an eyebrow. "No, what?"

"No, I don' wanna be stickin' my fingers in there." Eve sighed, shaking her head. Murphy frowned at her, not sure what else he needed to know, if he had any questions, or anything else.

"I need to get back to work." Murphy nodded, slowly. "Call me if you need anything, okay? Don't stay out too late. Don't come home too late, I guess. I don't care if you stay out, just don't wake me up."

"You said to call you." Eve rolled her eyes, standing from the booth. "Oh, by the way... Me and Connor fought again. He may or may not have a black eye." He shrugged slightly, pulling change out of his pocket for the coffee after standing as well.

"Are you off to your lady?" Murphy gave a little laugh, giving Eve a swift hug.

"I'm goin' 'ome. I need a shower. And a shave... A nap, too." Eve tousled his hair, sighing.

"Don't fight with your brother, Murph." Eve said, patting his head.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

After Murphy was showered, shaved, and his hair was trimmed—not beautifully of course, but still good enough that he could see—he had bought a pack of cigarettes, apologized to Connor and only got an angry middle finger from the couch as Connor brooded and watched TV, a pack of ice on his eye and a beer in his hand, and finally Murphy had headed for Shae's house.

He found the somehow familiar apartment quickly, knocking on the somehow familiar door. The door opened almost immediately and Shae stood grinning in front of him, a hand over her mouth.

_"_Oh_,"_ She mumbled, reaching up sadly to touch his hair, short now against his forehead. He smiled at her, wrapping his arms around her middle and pulling her up against him. She gave him a quiet little laugh, sliding her arms around his neck. He pushed his mouth against her lower lip, holding onto her. "Get in here..." She mumbled. He gave her another laugh, pulling the door shut behind him as he stepped in. "I made you dinner. Do you want to eat?"

"I want you." He said, biting her lip. She smiled against his mouth, kissing him back.

"Let me turn off the burners." He nodded, letting her slip out of his arms. She touched his hand and pulled him behind her through the small apartment to the kitchen. Murphy's boots were kicked off, his socks tucked into them quickly, as he followed her almost excitedly. She clicked the burners off, and Murphy coiled his arm around Shae's waist again, pulling her hips against his. She smiled at him, and he pushed her hand away when it came up to her lips. "Why did you cut your hair?" She asked, biting at her lips, one hand coming up to stroke his hair.

"It was gettin' long, wannit?" Shae frowned at him, stroking his hair still.

"I liked it." Murphy smiled, pulling her chin up and kissing her deeply. She smiled against his mouth, petting his cheeks, most of his scruff gone, only his mustache and a well trimmed goatee leftover. "I like this, too." He smiled softly, pulling her mouth back up to his, and felt the butterflies. "You smell good..." Shae whispered, hands sliding beneath Murphy's jacket, pulling on his too-big sweater. Murphy continued to smile, kissing the top of Shae's head. "I think I'm addicted to you. I couldn't get you off of my mind, hon..." Murphy stroked her cheek, grinning down at her.

"Really?" She nodded at him, trying not to smile. "Why won't you let me see...?" Murphy asked, stroking her lips. "I want to see you smile." She looked down shyly, and Murphy pulled her chin up again to see her smiling. He grinned at her only to have her turn away, covering her mouth.

"I don't know. I just don't like my smile."

"I love it." Shae suddenly blushed brightly, and smiled again. Murphy gave her a look of confusion. She hid her whole face behind her hands and stepped away, hiding from Murphy. "Shae..." She turned slowly, covering everything but her eyes. He smiled lightly and reached out to grab her wrist lightly, pulling her toward him again. She coiled her arms back around his neck, kissing him deeply. He smiled at her again, kissing her back.

"Where to, Sir?" She asked, tugging him toward the bedroom.

"If y'aren' goin' to give me a choice, why did you ask?" Shae grinned at him, then looked down, hiding that pretty smile again. Murphy lifted her chin up, wanting to see the it, her beautiful teeth, and her shapely mouth.

"Where to, hon?" She asked, stopping to press herself against his chest, a sly hand sliding down his stomach. He smiled stupidly, not sure what else he was supposed to do.

"I don' care, really." Murphy said, smiling at her still, that same dumb look on his face. She smiled lightly, too, and Murphy leaned down to kiss her mouth, distracting her from the smile. She pulled him to the nearest soft surface, a couch. She pushed him down onto it, smiling softly. He smiled up at her, setting his hands on her hips, clad in dark blue silky fabric. He pushed his mouth against her stomach, kissing it through her dress. "Let me love you, Shae." He whispered, peeking up at her. She stroked his cheeks, setting her hands on his shoulders.

"I want to..." She whispered back, staring down at him lovingly. He kissed her stomach lightly again, pulling on the bottom of her dress. "Do you want to undress me, Murphy...?" He looked up at her, an intrigued eyebrow quirked. She smiled at him, and waited quietly. He touched the bottom of her dress, trying to think of a sexy way to take this dress off. She was quiet, stroking his cheek again as he stared at the bottom of her dress, his hands setting against her thighs, finally. She watched him, intrigued. His hand slid up her legs, pushing her dress up slowly, over her curves. She lifted her arms and he pulled the dress off of them, standing in front of her holding the dark blue fabric. She took it out of his hand, giving him a sultry smile. He blushed lightly, caressing her cheek. "Now what?" She asked, running a finger over his cheek. He smiled at her, leaning down to kiss her collar bone, hands setting against her back. She went limp, leaning back, pressing her hips up against his. He smiled at her, holding her up against him, still biting at her neck. She wrapped her arms back around his neck, pulling herself up to his mouth.

"Yer so weird..." He mumbled against her lips, kissing her back and pulling her up against him closer. She bit his lip with a soft giggle.

"I can do weirder..." She whispered, hand sliding down to between Murphy's legs. He smiled at her quietly, and she pushed his coat off, hands pulling on the bottom of his sweater.

"I don' wan' weirder." She smiled again, caressing his cheek.

"What do you want?" She asked, getting Murphy out of his sweater.

"I like the idea of undressin' you." He mumbled. She smiled back, a hand sliding against his cheek.

"Where from?" He raised an eyebrow at her and she pushed him back down onto the couch. He looked up at her in confusion. "Undress me." Shae whispered, smiling. Murphy reached out to her leg, pulling it up onto the couch next to him. She continued to smile at him as he slid her pump off of her foot, lifting it up to his mouth to kiss the stockinged thing. She grinned at him, nearly falling down before he caught her with a hand on her ass, which quickly moved up to her back, Murphy giving her a shy and apologetic look. "I think you're just as weird as I am..." He smiled at her again, reaching up to pull on her garters, unclasping them quickly. She dropped her hands to her sides as Murphy let go of her back, figuring she had found herself balanced again.

He rolled the top of the laced stocking down, kissing where it had lain against her pale skin, he continued this down the rest of her leg, kissing it softly, and slowly rolling down her stocking. She groaned at him.

"Murphy, I want you..." She whined, dropping her leg before he could grab at the other one to touch both sides of his face and pull his mouth up to hers. He kissed her obediently, reaching up to pull her down to him, sliding her onto his lap. She coiled a leg around his waist, and he pulled on her other stocking awkwardly, pushing it away from her after pulling off the other dark stiletto heel. Shae's hips moved on his, pressing against his junk. He took a quiet breath in, pulling her away from him lightly. She frowned at him, looking at him with concern. "What's the matter...?" She asked, voice quiet. He wrapped his arms around her waist again, fingers caressing her muscular back. "Murphy...?" She whispered, petting his cheek again, her face one of confusion.

"Nothin'... It's okay..." He mumbled, kissing her neck.

"I'm sorry..." She whispered again, pulling on a chunk of his short soft hair. He smiled at her.

"No," Murphy mumbled, a hand sliding up from her lower back. She watched him quietly, hands setting against his shoulders. He unclasped her sheer black bra, after a few seconds of trial. She smiled at him, and he pushed her hand away when she tried to help. "'It's fine..." He mumbled, biting at her throat lightly. She smiled widely, pulling his chin up to look at him.

"You're excited today, hon." Murphy frowned up at Shae in confusion, and she simply shook her head, kissing his chin. "Nothing..." She mumbled, stroking his goatee. He raised an eyebrow at her, pressing his mouth against her cheek lightly. "What else do you want to do, honey...?" Murphy smiled lightly, kissing Shae's pretty little mouth.

"So much." He whispered, kissing her again, clinging to her back as he tossed her bra off to the side. She smiled lightly, coiling her arms around his neck, pushing her mouth hard on his.

"Yeah...?" Murphy mumbled a confirmation, biting into her lip. "Like what...?" Murphy gave her another grin, pulling her against him and rolling so that she was beneath him. She grinned up at him, not scared of her smile anymore.

"Somethin' like this..." He mumbled, hand sliding down her waist to her hip, pushing her sheer black panties down her legs. She smiled at him again, pulling his mouth back down to hers.

"Seriously... Did you have an epiphany or something...?" He raised an eyebrow at her, pulling away from her mouth with a calm breath. "You aren't shy at all anymore... Whats going on...?" He shrugged lightly, lifting her mouth back up to his, pushing hard against her mouth. "Murphy, seriously."

"Nothin'. I jus' wan' you. Should I stop?" He responded, a little angrier than he needed to be. She frowned at him and he looked away. "Sorry." He mumbled. She frowned at him quietly, still, despite his not looking at her.

"I'm sorry." She whispered back, setting her hands on the back of his neck. "I want you too." She mumbled, smiling lightly when he turned to look at her again. She kissed him deeply, coiling her arms around his neck to pull him down against her. He kissed her back, a hand sliding down her naked body, over her sharp curves, wide hips. Shae's hands slid down Murphy's back, and somehow came around to undo his belt. Murphy's sneaking hand wandered down to Shae's thighs, stroking the soft skin lightly, then over her pubic bone. Shae pulled his chin down to look at him seriously, kissing him lightly.

"Can I?" He asked, pulling his hand slightly away. Shae smiled, stroking his cheek.

"You can do whatever you want, Hon." He smiled shyly, looking down before his hand slid between her legs slowly, shyly. His breath got heavy as he tried to remember just how Eve had shown him how to do it—his finger found her, and before it, her clit—much like a button, he had to admit. He pressed against it, and Shae bit into her lip. "Ow!" She cried out, sounding a little frustrated. She reached down to grab his wrist. "Gentle, honey. Please." He pulled his hand away quickly.

"Sorry, sorry..." She smiled at him, tugging on his hand.

"Try again, okay? Gently." She led his hand between her legs again, holding his middle finger out, and pushing against her clit, with a soft breath out. He watched her face, concentrating deeply. She smiled lightly, looking up to see him, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration, biting his lip. "See...?" Shae asked quietly, her voice strained. Murphy pulled his hand away again, afraid he was hurting her. Had Eve lied to him? "Murph...?" She asked in that same odd strained voice.

"I'm sorry." He said, frantically.

"For what...?" Murphy bit his lip, confused "It felt good." She whispered, assuming, now. "Is that what you're worried about?" He shook his head.

"I didn'..." He mumbled. "Did I...?" She laughed sodtly, kissing his mouth.

"Did you hurt me...?" He nodded, softly noticing the sound in her voice was gone. "It felt good. I promise. I don't want you to stop." He raised an eyebrow at her and she pulled his mouth against hers, groping at his hand to push it back to where it was before. He shyly slid his hand against her again, without her guidance. He touched her lightly, pushing his middle finger on her again. She smiled up at him, taking his chin in her hand and pulling his mouth down to hers. "You're fine." She whispered, kissing him lightly. Murphy kissed her back, holding himself carefully over her, not sure what else to do. She pulled him down close to her, and he continued to massage between her legs, getting odd moans from her, one of her legs tightening around his waist. "Murphy..." She groaned up at him, hands pressed on his cheeks, pulling his mouth down to hers, biting hard into his lips. He groaned back at her, kissing her deeply, pushing against her clit softly. She moaned again, fingers digging against his cheeks then quickly pulling away to softly set against his shoulders as she squirmed beneath him.

"Shae...?" He asked her, pulling his hand fully away, pulling himself away from her and holding himself over her. She wrapped his arms around his neck, roughly back down to her, pushing her mouth hard on his.

"Murphy, sweetheart..." She whispered, kissing him lightly. He stared at her in confusion. She smiled, and then crescendoed up into a laugh, kissing him again, her breath heavy. "Thank you, hon." She whispered, kissing him again and again, holding his cheeks.

"Wha..?" Murphy responded, seriously confused. She had been writhing. Staring down at her, he noticed the red flush on her chest and ran a hand over it, finding it to be very hot. "Wha...?" He stupidly repeated. Shae sighed up at him, stroking his cheek.

"You got me off, hon. It felt good." He raised an eyebrow at her and she quickly reached back down to his belt, pulling it open and tugging the button of his jeans open. "And now I want more of you." Shae mumbled seductively. Murphy ran a hand over her side, leaning into her mouth, perfectly okay with more of her.

She pushed his jeans down unceremoniously, thought quietly for a minute then rolled out from under him to find her purse. He watched her go sadly, only for her to come back with another Altoids tin, touching his cheeks. He rolled onto his back, pulling her down on top of him, kissing hre deeply.

"Shae...?" She looked up at him, reaching between his legs slyly. He grabbed her wrist lightly, just looking at her. She raised an eyebrow, looking concerned. Her hand stroked his cheek lightly.

"Whats the matter...?" She whispered at him, balancing herself on his hips.

"I wan' to say 'I love you.'" She was quiet, just watching him, her mouth slightly agape. He bit his lip and looked away suddenly, regretting being honest. "I'm sorry, nevermind..." He mumbled, hands dropping to his sides dejectedly.

"Why...?" Shae asked him, looking shocked. "Why would you say that...?" He shrugged, still not able to let himself look at her, especially since she was naked and most likely angry with him.

"I don' know." He whispered, sitting up slightly, fixing his boxers and pushing her off of him lightly. "I think I might. I get this feelin'. An' I really like you. I think I might be... I want to be. I want to love you." She continued to stare at him, legs curled beneath her. "I'm sorry I keep... Fuckin' up." He mumbled, biting a thumbnail and looking at his feet.

"I want to love you, too." Shae whispered. "I don't know why I do, either. When I'm with you... I feel so sick. But its a good sick. I want more of it. When you were gone, today, I wanted to feel it again. I was dwelling on it. I love this. I love the feeling... Why can't I love you, too...?" She asked him. He gave a quiet laugh, not quite believing that Shae could feel the exact same as he did, finding it hard to believe, and a little freaky, that she had used the exact words that he wanted to say. She stared at him when he looked back up at her, trying to see if she was serious. She looked about ready to cry, her gray eyes wide and on him.

"Fuck..." He mumbled, still staring at her. She laughed quietly, eyes sad, reaching out to him.

"Fuck, indeed." She said. He took a step toward her, pulling her up into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck, standing on her toes. He pressed his mouth against her shoulder, pulling her against him, just holding her.

"Now what...?" He mumbled against her shoulder.

"Make love to me, Sweetheart. I want you." She whispered, her arms loosening from his neck to undo his belt.

"Shae...?" Murphy grumbled upon waking up, feeling beside him on the bed to find nothing but cold blankets.

"'Oo the fuck is Shae?" Came an annoyingly familiar voice. Murphy rolled over to see Connor and groaned at him in annoyance.

"Goddamn..." Murphy mumbled, rolling over to put his face in the pillow beneath his head. "Why the fuck are you always ruinin' my good dreams...?" He nearly yelled, voice muffled by the pillow.

"A dream girl, is she?" Came Connor's annoying high-pitched voice. "Whats she look like? She got big tits?" Murphy groaned up at Connor again, covering his ears and making a loud noise, trying to drown him out so he could go back to Shae, whether she was just a dream girl or not. His dreams were good enough for now, seeing as he had been rudely pulled away from his beautiful girl by this fuckin' reality which included the very non-sexy vision of his twin brother. "Fraternal, 'e is." He reminded himself, kicking Connor in the shin when he tried to nudge him out of bed.

"Ow, Murphy!" Came a girls voice. Murphy groaned and started to roll over, not recognizing the voice as Eve's but figuring she would be the only girl around Connor besides Rosie, trying to kill him again.

"Sorry, Evey..." He mumbled, pulling the pillow over his head, deciding he wasn't ready to get up quite yet.

"Who the fuck is Evey?" Came the now familiar voice of Shae. He rolled over fully, holding his arms out to her.

"If I keep seeing my stupid fuckin' brother in my dreams, I'm going to give him another goddamn black eye..." He mumbled, waiting for Shae's warm body.

"You kicked me in the shin. I think I'm bruising, Murphy." Murphy pulled this pillow off of his head to look at her apologetically. "And I still want to know who Evey is." He opened his arms again and she sat on the side of the bed, leaning down to kiss him.

"I'm sorry for kicking you. I thought you were Connor." Shae let out a little sound of understanding, and Murphy coiled his arms around her softly. "Eve's my sister-in-law. Kind of. They aren' married yet. But they will be. I think." Shae smiled, holding herself over Murphy's tired body. She didn't let him sleep much, when it came right down to it, but he wasn't really complaining. He liked staying up with her, just like he had been the past couple weeks, passing out in her warm, comfortable bed when she went to work, staying up and talking to her when she came home in the mornings, and very often getting in the shower with her.

They had finally told each other that they did, in fact, love each other, just a week earlier. They had both broken down into a fit of joyous giggles and Shae had nearly started crying, telling Murphy it wasn't his fault, that she was just an emotional girl. He had laughed more, kissing her over and over, wanting her to realize that he did love her.

"D'you have to go...?" He mumbled at her. She nodded softly, kissing his mouth. "Sometimes... I wish you wouldn' tell me." He whispered, stroking her cheek. She smiled at him, staring at him sadly.

"Why?" She whispered, her eyes changing into that motherly, doting look. He smiled up at her, pulling her mouth back down to his tiredly.

"Because I think that would be easier for some reason." He mumbled, closing his eyes tiredly. She kissed his forehead, stroking his soft hair lightly.

"I gotta go. I love you, honey..." He poked his lips out at her and she kissed him again, just knowing. "Even though you kicked me."

"I thought you were my brother. I was having a dream and he was pissing me off. I said sorry." He kissed her again, arms around her waist. "I love you. I'm sorry." She smiled at him, petting his cheek again.

"I'll be home at four. I'll try not to wake you up... So you don't kick me again. I think it's bruising." He laughed softly, letting go of her.

"I love you." He said again, rolling over as he heard her stand up, felt her weight move from the bed. The light clicked off and he pulled the blankets over his head again, hoping not to go back to his dreams of Connor and his abuse, so glad that he was the dream, and not Shae.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

"Murphy..." Came a familiar voice... Shae's voice, strained and sounding as if she was in pain. Murphy rolled himself over to see Shae, her makeup streaking down her face, hands curled against her stomach weakly. He reached out to her, and she pulled her hand away.

"Wha's the matter....?" He asked, sitting up and rubbing at his eyes, watching her sad and frantic face. She frowned at him still, pulling her coat around her wrists, hiding something from him. He touched her elbow lightly, reaching up to stroke her cheek. "Shae, wha' 'appened...?" He mumbled, noticing the make-up streaks.

"Nothing. You need to go, okay?" Murphy frowned at Shae, watching her still.

"Why?" He asked, pulling her down to him. She sat tenderly on the edge of the bed, not looking at Murphy. He continued to stare at her as she sat silently on the edge of the bed, her arms held awkwardly in front of her stomach.

"I just want to sleep, Murphy." She mumbled, glancing up at him fleetingly. He reached out to touch her cheek again, and she flinched away. "Please..."

"I won' keep you up..." He mumbled at her, still watching her in quiet, confused concern. "What happened...?" He asked again, reaching to turn her toward him, she took a deep breath in, looking away from him. He reached away from her to turn on the bedside light, stroking her cheek again when she took another rattling breath.

"Nothing, it was raining..." She whispered, hands coming up to hide her face, fingers holding onto the too-long sleeves of her coat. "It messed my makeup up." Murphy pulled her hands away, and she took another pained breath in, pulling her arms away from him, hiding them against her chest again. He stroked her cheek, only to have her cringe away. He noticed then the bruise under her eye, the blood on her lip.

"Shae...?"

"I fell." She said, simply, voice sounding angry and hurt.

"What the hell 'appened?" Murphy asked loudly, getting angry as well. Shae stood up, walking away from him, biting her split lip. Murphy stood, found his boxers and pulled them on, following her out of the room. He grabbed her wrist, turning her to him, and she cried out, pulling her arms away from him again. He frowned at her, taking her arm gingerly and pulling her coat sleeve up to reveal dark red bleeding abrasions around her wrists. "I knew you didn' fall." He whispered, still holding her arm. "Wha' 'appened?" He said, voice still quiet.

"Nothing..." Shae whispered again, her voice cracking. Tears came out of her eyes, and she swiped frantically at them. Murphy coiled an arm around her shoulders, pulling her against him. She clung to him, crying quietly.

"I'll kill the motherfucker wha' did this to you, Shae. I promise, I will." She shook her head quietly, her body going slightly limp against him. He lifted her up, leaning down slightly to look at her, holding her cheeks as she grabbed onto his wrists, trying to steady herself.

"I feel really, really sick, hon... Can you please let me lay down...?" She whispered, her eyes closed tiredly, tears still trying to escape. Murphy slung her arm over his shoulders, and leaned down to grab her legs behind her knees, lifting her against his chest. She clung to his neck, tucking her ear against his chest, clinging to him as he carried her to her soft bed, laying her gently down on it. She groaned when she landed on her back, rolled to her side. Murphy knelt beside the bed, watching her quietly.

"Shae... Tell me wha' 'appened, okay?" Her hands came up to cover her face, shaking her head slowly.

"You'll hate me." She whispered. Murphy sighed quietly, figuring he would just let it go and find out on his own, and kill said motherfucker whenever he discovered who he was. He stood up slowly, going to her pretty little feet to remove her tall heeled boots, shaking his head at the pointlessness of boots with heels. She groaned at him, half asleep. He hushed her quietly, pulling the boot off delicately to reveal her bare legs... She had worn pantyhose when she left. Around her ankles were bloody rope-burned abrasions much like were on her wrists, and large red welts all along her legs. He stroked a particularly dark one with a gentle finger, noticing what looked like a deep red bruise forming in the center line of the welt.

He moved up to undo the buttons of her coat—which he actually recognized now as _his_ coat—and found her naked underneath, except for her bra and panties, the latter torn on one side, and the bra's straps stretched out and loose against her pale shoulders. There was blood all down the insides of her thighs, from he-knew-exactly-where. On her stomach, around her bellybutton, was a big, bleeding, burn, covered in what looked like cigarette ash. He stood abruptly, finding his jeans and sweater on the floor, and pulled them on, his boots over bare feet. He turned back to her, buttoned his jacket over her bare stomach and lifted her up again.

"Murphy... No... Lemme sleep..." She grumbled at him. He held her close against him, carrying her out of her room.

"D'ya need yer purse?" He asked her seeing it on the table.

"Where the hell are you taking me...?" She grumbled at him, sounding exhausted.

"Yer comin' 'ome wit' me." He said quietly, grabbing her purse just in case, and exiting her house, locking the door behind him. She continued to groan at him, trying to fight out of his arms as he carried her to the elevator, fighting to press the down button. "Jes' go to sleep, Shae." She coiled her arms around his neck, pressing her ear against his chest compliantly.

***Though the trip to Eve's apartment took only 30 minutes when Murphy was walking alone, when carrying a half-naked, bloody, 140 pound sleeping girl made the trip last a lot longer, as he couldn't walk down the main streets, and had to take back roads that he didn't recognize, nearly getting lost twice. He sighed when he arrived at the large building, wishing someone would build a fucking elevator in the place, not wanting to have to carry Shae up three flights of stairs.

Once he got to the door, he kicked at it frantically, trying not to drop Shae despite his tired arms. The door opened and Connor stood stupidly in just his boxers, staring at Murphy and the girl in his arms.

"Please tell me Eve's 'ere..." Murphy said, pushing past Connor, turning sideways to fit Shae in through the door.

"She's asleep... Who the fuck is t'is?" Connor asked, following Murphy as he shoved various cans and bags of chips, other garbage and a TV remote from the couch to lay Shae gently on it, whispering a quiet hush at her when she woke up, groaning at him.

"W'ye wake 'er up, please?" Murphy asked, kneeling next to Shae, stroking her long black hair away from her face, strained with pain. "D'you need ice, Shae...? R'you okay...?" She shook her head, reaching up to touch his hand.

"Where am I...?" She whispered back at him. Connor continued to stare stupidly from the other side of the room. Murphy sighed, pulling himself away from Shae.

"Who the fuck is she?" Connor asked, glaring at his brother.

"She's a fuckin' friend, Connor. W'ye please wake Eve up?" Connor stood in silence, glaring at Murphy. Murphy groaned in anger, pushing past Connor to open Eve's bedroom door. He walked to the bed, nudging Eve's shoulder lightly.

"Wha... Huh?" Eve groaned, sitting up, her red hair messy and tangled. Murphy had no idea why he had brought Shae here. It was only going to cause him more problems in the end. Why hadn't he just taken her to the hospital? Was he scared that someone would assume that he was an abusive boyfriend? And most likely a rapist, too, judging from the blood coming from between Shae's pretty little legs.

"Evey, please..." He mumbled, falling onto the floor suddenly, finding it hard to breath. He was scared—what if Shae was dying? He took a deep breath, standing himself back up, pulling the covers away from Eve upon noticing that she actually wore clothes to bed. He sat her up as she continued to grumble in confusion. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry...." He mumbled, his words slurring together. Eve stared at Murphy, his face panicked, hers confused. "You gotta help 'er..." He mumbled, his voice barely working around the lump that had formed in his throat. Was he going to cry? He stood up, exiting the room quickly to find Connor standing next to the couch, arms crossed over his chest, glaring down at Shae.

"What the fuck did ye do to 'er?" He asked Murphy. Murphy glared at him, fist clenching up. He knew it wasn't in his best interest to attack Connor as Eve woke up in the other room, but he couldn't help it. He expected it to happen, expected his anger to become more pronounced than the fear that had built up in his throat.

"Murphy...?" Came Shae's quiet voice.

"Is there a girl in here?" Eve asked, exiting her bedroom finally, hair still a tangled mess on her head, her tank top falling off of her shoulder and her shorts low on her skinny hips. Murphy leaned down to Shae, kissing her forehead lightly and stroking her hair off of her face. Eve came around to the other side of the couch, watching Murphy in silent shock. "Is this Shae?" She asked him, looking at his distraught form. He nodded slowly, his eyes filling with water, his mouth dry and his throat raw and sore. His arms ached from carrying Shae all this way, his feet had blisters from walking the two miles with no socks, he knew he was going to cry, not wanting to in front of Connor, and he couldn't think straight. "What the fuck did you do to her, Murphy?"

"Why the fuck d'you assume I fuckin' did it?" He yelled back, glaring at her, still crouched next to Shae, holding her cheeks sadly. He moved her large purple purse from underneath her after realizing he had just thrown it down before he sat her down. "I don' know wha' 'appened... She wouldn' tell me..."

"Who the fuck is she?" Connor repeated, loudly. Feeling ignored. Eve came to kneel next to Murphy, ignoring Connor all the same.

"I didn' wan' to take 'er to a 'osp'tal... I don' know why I brough' 'er 'ere... I though' you coul' 'elp 'er..." Murphy slurred, staring hopelessly at his almost-sister. Eve was quiet, staring at Shae still. "Eve, please..." Murphy begged, his voice cracking as the tears suddenly spilled out from his eyes. Eve looked at him, then nodded, standing up.

"Connor, go get the first aid kid out of the bathroom. Bring some water and towels, too." Connor nodded vaguely, his arms still crossed angrily over his chest. He turned to go silently, and Murphy looked at Eve still as she stood beside him, staring intently down at Shae, deciding what to do. "I assume she's naked?" Murphy nodded, looking down, feeling oddly ashamed. "Bring her into my room..." She mumbled. Murphy coiled Shae's arms around his neck delicately again, lifting her up and carrying her to Eve and Connor's room, setting her on top of the comforter after Eve pulled it forward. Connor entered a second later, the first aid kit in one hand, some towels over his arm and a metal mixing bowl of water in the other hand. He held them out to Eve and she took them from him, mumbling something into his ear after kissing his cheek. He nodded at her and exited the room, closing the door behind him. Murphy fell onto the floor again, watching Shae's sleeping form. Eve moved toward the bed, setting the bowl of water on the floor and the towels and first-aid onto the bed. Murphy was silent as she unbuttoned his coat, pulling it away from Shae's chest and gasping in shock at the burn on her stomach, at the bruises around her breasts that Murphy now noticed as well. He stood up, and moved next to Eve.

"I promise, I didn' do it, Eve... I wouldn' ever..." She nodded at him, still staring in shock at Shae's destroyed body. "I wouldn' 'urt 'er."

"I know you wouldn't, Murph..." Eve whispered. "Oh, my God..." She whispered, hand coming up to cover her mouth. She looked over at Murphy. "You better fuckin' kill whoever did this to her, Murphy." He nodded slowly, touching Shae's bruised cheek with a gentle hand.

"I'm going to..." He mumbled, watching Shae as Eve pondered what to do.

"Murphy... Go out and talk to Connor, okay?" Murphy turned to stare at Eve in shock. Why would she even ask him to leave Shae? She knew he couldn't, he didn't want to ever leave her alone again. "You haven't talked to him in forever, except for that day you gave him a black eye. I can take care of Shae, okay? Just go out there. I'm not going to hurt her." Murphy stood slowly, watching Shae as she mumbled something, reaching up. He touched her hand softly, and she murmured the same thing again. He leaned down to her mouth, and her hands came to his head, stroking his face and his soft hair.

"I'm sorry..." She whispered at him. He kissed her forehead sadly, stroking her cheek. "I'm so sorry, Murphy..." He smiled lightly, kissing her again.

"Yer gonna be okay, Shae. Yer gonna be fine. I'ma go, okay? I gotta go talk to Connor." Shae shook her head, reaching out pull Murphy toward her again.

"Don't leave me alone." She whispered, her eyes still clenched closed.

"You'll be fine. Evey's gonna take care of you," Shae's arms wrapped tentatively around Murphy's shoulders, and he kissed her shoulder lightly. "I love you." He mumbled. Eve stood quietly, a few steps back from the bed, watching Murphy. "I trust Eve. You gotta trust 'er, too. Okay?" Shae nodded slowly, and her arms slipped away from Murphy's shoulders. He stood again, Eve patting him on the shoulder awkwardly.

***Murphy exited the room, saw Connor still standing outside awkwardly, watching him.

"Sorry." He mumbled at his brother. Connor shrugged, and then nodded.

"Sorry." He answered, his voice quiet, too. "Who is she?" He asked, nodding toward the door, both of them standing awkwardly, not looking at the other. Murphy's hands were tucked into his jeans pockets and Connor's lay limp against his thighs, in just his boxers.

"Jus' a girl. 'Er name's Shae." Connor nodded quietly, and Murphy glanced up at him, trying to tell if he could tell Murphy was halfway lying. Shae definitely wasn't _just_ a girl. She was far more than that to him. She was _his_ girl. He pretty much was in love with Shae. He turned abruptly when he heard a cry from inside the room, going to the door. Connor caught him by the back of his shirt, pulling him away from it.

"Jus' a girl, huh?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at Murphy. Murphy sighed, quietly, looking down before pulling Connor's hand away from his sweater.

"More'n jus' a girl." Murphy mumbled, still staring at the ground.

"'N I s'pose tha's where ye been disappearin' to?" Another nod from Murphy. "Why didn' ye tell me?" This time, he shrugged. Why hadn't he told Connor? He had no idea. Maybe he just liked keeping a secret from him. "Wha' does she do?"

"Wha'?" Murphy responded, not understanding. "Wha' d'you mean?"

"I mean, does she got a job?"

"'Eah." Murphy said, halfway glaring at Connor, still standing there stupidly in his boxers. It was only eight in the morning, Murphy figured. For once Connor had an excuse to not be dressed.

"Wha' does she do?" Connor slurred.

"I don' know." Murphy responded in a terribly annoyed voice. Maybe the month of silence he and Connor had shared was better than this three minute conversation. Maybe they just couldn't talk at all anymore.

"I don' like 'er." Connor said simply, turning to go.

"You 'aven' even talked to 'er! 'Ow can you fuckin' jus' say you don' like 'er?" Murphy yelled taking a step back toward Eve's room, planning on going back in and being with Shae.

"I jus' don'."

"Well, I fuckin' love 'er." Murphy said simply, glaring. Connor turned around to give Murphy an angry glare.

"Ye don' even know wha' she does for a livin'. What if she's un'ercover? Like FBI, or some shit? Wha' if she turns ye into the p'lice?" Murphy looked down. Connor did have a point, not a logical point, but a point nonetheless.

"I don' know. She loves me. She wouldn' turn me in..."

"Ye don' fuckin' know that!" Connor said loudly. Murphy stared at the ground still. Once again, Connor had a point.

"I don' fuckin' know then." Wouldn't Shae have done something already if she was FBI or whatever? Would she have slept with Murphy if she was, beyond that?

"Get rid of 'er." Connor said, glaring, a finger pointed at the door that both the girls were behind.

"Fuck you!" Murphy responded, glaring back. "Fuckin'... Wha' if Eve was a fuckin' FBI agent? Eve fuckin' was FBI. You didn' get rid of 'er!"

"Because she was on Smecker's side!" Connor yelled back, both of them pointing at the door now. They had moved closer together, yelling in each others faces. Murphy was prepared to knock Connor out, fists clenched, his arms throbbing.

"B'chu didn' know tha'!" Murphy yelled again. The door opened and Murphy turned abruptly to see Eve guiding Shae—dressed in Eve's clothes—toward the bathroom. Murphy was silent, and Eve gave the twins an angry look, before disappearing into the bathroom, Shae still leaning against her side, staring spaciously forward. Murphy stepped away from his brother, trying to act like he didn't start anything.

They continued to stand in angry silence, Murphy jumping in surprise when the water started. Eve exited after a few minutes more, mumbling something to Shae.

She walked to the twins, giving them both saddened looks. Murphy looked away and Connor's hand came up to the back of his head sheepishly.

"Murphy," Eve mumbled, setting a hand on his elbow. She sighed quietly, looking down, hand dropping from his arm. "I'm driving her to the hospital after she takes a bath. There's shit wrong with her that... There's no way that I could even attempt to fix." She mumbled. "What happened to her..." Another loud sigh.

"I didn' do it, Eve... Why woul' I ever...?" She nodded softly as Connor glared at his brother.

"I know, Murph. She told me."

"Why'd she tell you and not me?" Murphy asked, his face falling back into sadness. Eve was quiet, turning to go into her room, most likely to get dressed.

"Ye didn' know if ye beat the livin' shit out of yer girl?" Connor asked, giving Murphy a dirty look.

"I know I didn' do tha' shit to her, Connor--" Murphy yelled, pointing an angry finger, once more before Eve interrupted him.

"Connor, shut the hell up, okay?" She turned to Murphy, giving him a sad look. "Some Russian guys found out she was seeing you. She works for them... They weren't happy. They beat the shit out of her. A bunch of them fuckin' raped her. They used her stomach as an ashtray." She turned to Connor. "Murphy couldn't do that to anyone if he tried. You know that." Connor looked down sheepishly, Murphy stared at Eve hopefully.

"Let me go with you." He said, reaching out to his almost-sister. "When you take 'er to the 'osp'tal."

"You can't come, Murphy." He frowned, quietly, looking back to the ground. "Go check on her. Make sure she's still awake and above water..." He turned, only to have Connor grab his arm, waiting quietly until Eve went into her room, closing the door behind her.

"Get rid of 'er. She's gonna get you fuckin' killed, Murph." Connor said, before pulling Eve's bedroom door open, entering and slamming the door behind him. Murphy stood in silence, looking down.

He was right. Either he was going to get himself killed, or he was going to get Shae killed. Or maybe just seriously fuck her up. He bit into his thumb, looking around the room frantically. Should he just disappear? What was he supposed to do? He had to say goodbye to Shae... Right?

"Fuck..." He mumbled, taking a step toward the bathroom. He had to see her, at least. He pulled the door open, peeking in at Shae, laying in the water, dark with all the blood. Her eyes were shut, and she looked like she was sleeping. He leaned against the door frame, staring at her sadly. Did he need to say goodbye? Did he need to tell her he loved her? Would that hurt more or less? He didn't understand women... Maybe she would just understand if he disappeared and never saw her again. Would she come back, look for him? Would she try to find him again?

"Murphy...?" Came her quiet voice, one of her tired eyes opening halfway. She opened her arms at him and he walked toward her, kneeling next to the tub. She looked at him, quietly, one hand coming out of the hot water to touch his cheek. "Why are you sad...? I'm okay, I promise." She whispered, sounding so tired, so pained. Murphy stayed quiet, staring at her and biting his lip. He loved her so much. He couldn't leave her. But if he stayed, she would get hurt. Or his brother would get hurt. Someone would get hurt. He reached into the tub, not caring about his sweater. It was already covered in blood, it was inevitable. He pulled her up against him, clinging to the back of her head, stroking her long, wet hair.

"I love you, Shae." He whispered against her cheek, kissing her cheek lightly. Her arms coiled around his shoulders, her wrists cringing away when they touched the back of his neck, her fingers coming back to stroke his hair delicately.

"I love you, too." Shae said quietly, her voice odd and concerned. Murphy pulled away from her to look at her sadly. "Murph, what's going on...?" He stroked her cheek, still just staring at her in thought. "Murphy, please...?" He pushed his mouth on hers, then stood up, looking away from her now.

"Eve's gonna take care of you, okay...?" He mumbled, his arms dripping with bloody bathwater.

"Murph..." Shae mumbled, voice choking with tears. "Don't leave me alone, Murphy..." He bit his lip, turning quickly, exited the bathroom, ignoring Shae as she yelled his name, her voice still choked. He couldn't even say goodbye.

He exited the apartment, slamming the door behind him and running down the three flights of stairs, despite his aching legs and feet. He got out to the street and ran. He got to the end of the street, and ran. He had no fucking clue where he was going to go, only that he had to get the fuck away from Connor, from Eve, and from Shae. He had to get away from anyone who knew him.

He paused at a corner to catch his breath, looking down at the sorry state of himself. His heels throbbed inside his shoes, his legs burned now, his lungs ached. All of his money was in his coat, his cigarettes and his lighter, too. He fell onto the corner, pulling his shoes off to soothe his feet with the cold night air, breathing deeply. He looked at the sorry state of himself, dripping wet, covered in sweat and smelling of blood.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck..." He mumbled, looking around the unfamiliar street.

"Hey, man, are you alright...?" Came the voice of a man. Murphy turned to look at the feet belonging to the man, saw expensive shoes, and the bottom of a business suit. He stood, ran, leaving his shoes behind. His legs moved before he could stand fully, nearly falling onto his face. He knees felt like jelly as he turned into an alley, falling on the far side of a dumpster. He leaned against the dirty wall, catching his head in his hands. He was sweating, hot, bloody and wet.

How was he supposed to live like this? He would have to avoid everyone. Connor, Eve, Shae, anyone who may have seen the news at any given time in the past eight years. He sighed loudly, looking around the alley. Maybe he could just live here. That way he couldn't hurt anyone, right? His head fell against his knees, and he sighed deeply, preparing himself for tears that he knew would come.

***The rain had beat his tears, an hour and a half later, pouring down on the streets and into the alleyway, practically flooding it. Dark black puddles of muck filled the small street, garbage floating up and toward the drain further down the street, grazing Murphy's bare feet, freezing and numb. He curled himself up tighter, staring at the far wall, wishing that nothing had happened to Shae, wishing that he knew how to fix what had happened to her.

There was a way, he figured. Kill off every Russian person he could fucking find. Which would take a while, and probably wouldn't work, as Connor had hid their guns, informing Murphy that he had too much of a temper to be able to hold onto his own gun. He didn't know where he could buy a new gun, either. Not with his face in the news, proclaiming he was a killer.

He stood slowly, glancing toward the street. His feet still ached, but at least he couldn't feel the blisters anymore. He walked toward the city. Maybe he would just wander around until someone found him and sent him back to jail. He could keep Shae safe if he was in there, couldn't he?

Finally, the tears came. They were hot against his cold cheeks. The rain still falling heavily made them disappear, and thankfully, none of the people on the streets looked at him. If they did, no one must have recognized him. After another hour of wandering, no one had stopped him, no one had tried to kill him.

He paused in front of a brightly lighted building, glancing up at it sadly. A hospital. He had to know... Was Shae in this one? He glanced around, trying to find something else familiar about the city he was in... It was definitely still Boston, but he wasn't sure where in Boston. It didn't look familiar... But nothing was to him at this point. He had seen himself in a reflection, and had scared himself. He didn't look like Murphy MacManus anymore. He looked like someone else, like he had changed, like everything else had changed.

He took a tentative step toward the hospital, not sure if they would welcome soaking wet barefoot people into their clutches. Maybe he would have better luck at a church... Even though Shae wouldn't be in a church. Shae would be in a hospital.

At this thought, he turned himself abruptly. He_ couldn't _see Shae. He wanted to. He knew that he needed to see her to feel normal again.

"Shit..." He mumbled, turning slightly to look up at the hospital again.

South Boston Mercy Hospital. Maybe it was familiar. He took another step toward it, wanting so badly to at least go ask if she was here. Make sure she made it safe to the hospital. He wanted to make sure she was alive. He pulled the door open, sliding in quickly. The receptionist looked up at him in confusion and he walked toward her.

"Is there a Shae Malchik checked in 'ere?" He asked, still dripping wet. He wiped at a descending drop of water from his forehead, tickling the skin.

"I'm sorry sir, I can't--" The nurse said, staring up at him still, a underlying look of disgust beneath her faked concern.

"You can. Jus' tell me if she's 'ere." He said, glaring. It was so simple. Maybe he should have tried the emergency room.

"Sir, I'm sorry. I'm going to have to ask you to--"

"Leave?" Murphy anticipated. "Yer gonna hafto ask me to leave?" He practically yelled, hands setting calmly onto the desk. The woman nodded. "Leave a 'osp'tal?" He asked, glaring at the woman. "A 'Mercy' 'osp'tal?" She frowned at him, before quickly looking away. "Cos I fuckin' figgered there'd be, like, mercy or something at a Mercy 'osp'tal. I jus' need to know if a girl named Shae Malchik was checked in 'ere. Please, lady..."

"Sir, I'm sorry... We can't disclose that information--"

"Fuck it." Murphy yelled, finally, throwing his hands up. "If I can' even get help from a fuckin' 'osp'tal that's supposed take care of people, I don' know where I'm s'posed to go in this day n' fuckin' age." He yelled, turning to go, his bare feet squishing uncomfortably against the dry carpet.

"Murphy...?" Came a quiet voice. Murphy turned abruptly, seeing Eve standing near the hall. "Oh, my god, what happened to you?" She asked, coming over to him. "I'm sorry..." She said to the receptionist. "His girlfriend got into an accident... He's having a breakdown." Eve looped her hand around Murphy's arm, pulling him away from the desk. "What happened to your boots?" Murphy shook his head quietly, looking down.

"So she's 'ere?" Eve nodded, and grabbed Murphy's cheeks, pulling his face down to look at him. He pulled his head away quickly, frowning.

"Where the fuck did you go?" Eve asked, looking Murphy over sadly. He was a sorry-ass mess. "Why did you fuckin' leave like that? You didn't even tell us you were going. What the hell were you doing, dumping Shae on us like that?"

"I didn' dump her on you..." Murphy mumbled, still looking down. "I jus' lef'. It was my faul' she got 'urt. Wha' the hell else was I s'posed to do? I figgered you'd take her to the 'osp'tal... And she would get better eventually and leave, y'know? I don' know..." Eve frowned at him, grabbing his arm again.

"You can't just leave her. She loves you, too, Murphy."

"If I stay, wha's gonna happen to 'er? Somethin' worse'n wot 'appened already?" Eve frowned up at Murphy. He looked down. "I wan' 'oo." He mumbled, biting his nail. "I wanna stay and love 'er. I do... But if I do, I don' know what'll 'appen to her." Murphy repeated, his voice trailing away into nothing when it cracked.

"So what are you going to do?" Eve asked. Murphy shrugged, still not looking at Eve. He glanced up at painting that was hanging on the wall, one of those that was probably was supposed to be calming, but was really just ugly. "Come see her. She's asleep, they knocked her out..." He looked up at Eve sadly, quirking an eyebrow. "Decide when you see her, okay? You don't even have to wait for her to wake up. You can leave if you still feel the same... Or you can stay, and protect her. Its not like you can't, right?" Murphy nodded slowly, returning to the depressingly ugly picture. Eve nodded, also, aand took a step away, leading him to Shae.

***Murphy entered the small hospital room quietly, glancing away from his brother who sat—finally clothed—in a corner of the room, a magazine over his knee, half sleeping, half reading.

"What the 'ell is 'e doin' 'ere?" Murphy mumbled, glancing up at Eve. She sat a hand on Murphy's elbow quietly, steering him toward the other side of the bed.

"He's making sure no one else tries to kill Shae while I went to look for you. You should probably thank him." She whispered, kissing Murphy's cheek lightly before going toward the door. "I'll bring you some dry clothes, okay?" Eve mumbled, shooting a dirty look at Connor who stood obediently, patting Murphy's damp shoulder. Connor left the room, closing the door behind him, figuring that the dirty look from Eve meant "Go the hell away."

"Thanks." Murphy mumbled, looking down again, wishing he had shoes. Eve glanced down at his pale feet as well, frowning slightly.

"What size do you wear?" She asked, still standing close to him, a hand on his could shoulder.

"Same as Connor." Eve nodded, then looked at Shae, frowning.

"They treated her burn, bandaged her up. Nothing's _wrong_ with her... She's just really beat up. A little traumatized." Murphy nodded slowly, looking up at Shae as well, sleeping peacefully, looking clean and pristine with no make-up on. "Do you want me to stay with you? Or do you want to be alone?"Murphy shrugged, staring at Shae. He fell into the chair that was sitting next to the bed—the one across the room from where Connor had been sitting. "Will you be okay alone?" He nodded, grabbing the front of his soaked sweater and debating wringing it out. "I'll bring you clothes, okay? Be good." Eve said, coming over to pat Murphy's soaked head before walking away.

***Three hours later, Shae still hadn't so much as moved, still asleep from the medications they had given her. Eve had come and gone, bringing Murphy a box of orange juice—informing him that if he didn't drink it, he would catch a cold—, and a dry set of clothes, as well as a new pair of boots. He had dressed quickly, stuffing his sweater—which seemed to have grown due to the weight from the water—and jeans into the bag that Eve had brought the new clothes in. She had given Murphy a kiss on the cheek and told him that she would bring him food in a few hours, after her shift down at Sundance. He had agreed quietly, and Eve had left, saying nothing else.

And Murphy had sat. In silence, watching Shae, wishing he could make up his mind. He didn't know what he was supposed to do without her, if he did choose to leave, but he didn't know how he was supposed to keep her safe if he stayed.

He had scooted the chair close to the bed, leaning forward, elbows on his knees, trying to be right next to her, wanting to be. His reasons for leaving seemed to outweigh his reasons for staying, even though he truly wanted to stay with her, to have her near him. He sighed loudly, his finger coming up to his mouth.

"Don't bite your nails, sweetheart..." Came a quiet and weak voice. He glanced up, saw Shae looking at him sadly, trying to smile. "You have such pretty hands, darling. Don't ruin them. Please." He dropped his hands to his lap, looking down at them silently. Shae pulled herself up to a sitting position, groaning in quiet pain, or maybe just because she was exhausted. "Eve told you, didn't she?" She whispered. Murphy nodded slowly, still staring down at his hands. "Do you hate me?"

"I don' hate you." He mumbled, picking at his thumbnail, now. "I jus' think... I think maybe I shouldn' be around you." He glanced up to see Shae staring at him sadly, her hands sitting in her lap, hunched over her stomach lightly. She nodded slowly, then looked away.

"I understand..."

"I love you, Shae. I do. Tha' doesn' change, kay?" He whispered, wanting her to look at him, wanting to hold her and not let go, wanting so many things he couldn't have.

"How can you?" She whispered back, looking down. "How can you love me, still?"

"I jus' wan' you to be safe, Shae... I don' wanna 'urt you," Murphy mumbled, realizing how selfish he sounded. Maybe she didn't care if he left or not. Maybe she wanted him to leave. Maybe she knew it was his fault and hated him for it.

"Safe?" She asked, looking up at him in confusion, her eyebrows furrowed. "What did Eve tell you...?" She whispered, still staring at him.

"Tha' some Russians fucked you up cos you was with me..." Shae gave a half smile, looked down quietly.

"You don't hate me?" She whispered at him. He shook his head, staring at _her _in confusion, now. She gave him another half-smile, before looking down again. "Are you going to leave me?" She whispered, her knees pulling up so that she could set her cheek against them.

"I don' wan' to." He said, voice faint, almost as if, if either of them spoke audibly everyone would know they were speaking, that someone would come and interrupt. "I wan' so much, Shae. I wanna be with you." She smiled at him lightly, reaching out to him.

"If I..." She stopped herself, shook her head. He reached out to her as well, a thumb caressing her lip lightly, so pale without her dark lipstick. He was so used to her make up, she looked so frail without it. "I love you, Murphy. I want you to stay." She whispered, setting her hands against his cheeks. He was so warm from the inevitable cold, giving him a fever, Shae's usually warm hands felt cool and soothing against his skin. "Can I call you mine?"

"Only if I can call you mine." He mumbled back, giving her a soft smile. She smiled softly, too, stroking his ears and his hair.

"I was scared." She whispered, pressing her forehead lightly against his. He smiled, petting her cheeks. "I was scared you were going to say that you hated me. That you couldn't love me, anymore. I was scared I was going to lose you. I didn't want to." He smiled, kissing her lightly.

"I wouldn' 'ave said any of that." He mumbled, running his thumb over her eyebrow. She smiled lightly, stroking his chin with a thumb, fixing his stubble. "I never woul' 'ave... why wouldn' I love you anymore?" He whispered, pulling back from her softly, leaning against his chair with a quiet sigh, feeling relieved and terribly sick.

"I don't know." Shae whispered, setting her cheek back against her knees,watching Murphy in silence. "Can I hold your hand?" She mumbled, glancing down at her hand, laying against the hospital blanket, over her calf. Murphy opened his eyes slowly, tiredly, to look at her, raising an eyebrow. He held a hand out to her awkwardly, and she pressed her palm against his, sliding her fingers around his, thumb stroking the back of his hand, petting the word 'QUIT' within his tattoo. He smiled at their hands locked together, pet the back of her hand with his thumb. "I've never held your hand..." She whispered, suddenly, also watching their hands caress each other in front of her. He reached out to her, tugging her chin toward him, and kissing her mouth.

"I love you." He whispered. She smiled lightly, tiredly, kissing him back.

"I love you, too." Murphy stroked her chin lightly, before pulling himself away from her, thinking. "What happened today... Didn't have anything to do with you, okay, Murphy?" He looked at her quietly. "It was because I'm stupid. Its not because I love you, or because I'm with you. Its just because I've made dumbass decisions for the past eight years." Murphy nodded, watching her with his own tired eyes.

"I'm sorry I couldn' protect you." He whispered, still watching her. She smiled at him, pulling his hand up to her mouth to kiss his knuckles lightly.

"You would have done an amazing job, anyways, honey."


	5. Chapter 5

**[[Note from Tey: Hey, all! I'm sorry if it seems like its been a while... It feels that way to me. I've been busy, what with my laptop getting a virus, and school projects, and my starting another story. Been a wee bit hectic. Maybe not hectic enough, as I'm still bored out of my mind, haha. Also, this chapter may seem a little poorly written in some parts, I'm sorry if you feel it is so! I get lazy sometimes... I stop caring about parts, sometimes... I forget what I was going to write. Which is generally what happens, lol. Either way, here it is. Chapter five! Yay!]]**

**Chapter 5**

Murphy pulled at the slide of his gun nervously, leaning against the side of the door. Connor stood next to him, on the other side of the door, watching him with an angrily raised eyebrow, questioning him. He glared and jabbed a finger at Connor, turning away.

Smecker had called them. Informed them that they he had found out who had messed Shae up as bad as she had ended up, and where they could find them. Connor had helped, agreeing—despite his hatred toward Murphy's lovely girl—that what had happened to her was unacceptable and that the person deserved to be shot, if not raped and beaten the same way Shae had been. Connor had called Shae's place not half an hour after she had left for work, Murphy trying to sleep, glad to be away from Connor and Eve for a night, after a week of staying with them. He had missed Shae's wonderful body, felt bad for feeling that way after what had happened... But she had seemed just as willing as he had been to get those damned clothes off.

Inside of this door was the one of the assholes that had hurt his girl. He didn't stand a chance. Murphy was going to kill him, and then continue to shoot him until he felt like his anger was resolved. The brothers crossed themselves quickly before Connor shot the lock and Murphy kicked it in, both of them shoving through the door, guns pointed, only to find the big, hairy Russian naked and on top of a small girl. The brothers ran, Connor grabbing the Russian, Murphy grabbing the girl, pulling her naked form away from the bed and half-way tossing her into a corner. Connor stopped, holding the naked Russian's shoulder still, gun pointed at his head glaring at the girl. Murphy stared at his brother in confusion before turning to look at the girl—to look at Shae.

"Wha' the fuck are you doin' here?" He asked angrily, his gun nearly dropping to the ground.

"Murphy..." Shae mumbled, her hand coming up to cover her mouth.

"Get dressed. Get the 'ell out of 'ere." Murphy said, simply, turning away from Shae, glaring at the ground. Shae bundled up her clothes, and ran naked into the hall, completely silent.

"What're ye gonna do?" Connor asked quietly, gun still pointed at the Russian's head.

"I don' fuckin' know." Murphy spat, coming to stand next to his brother, pointing his gun against the Russian's head as well. "Jus' fuckin' do it..." He mumbled, cocking his gun quietly, a million thoughts going through his head, the Russian crying about how the 'dirty whore' had sold him out and 'that little slut' did nothing but cause problems for the syndicate.

Two gun blasts later, the Russian was no more.

***Murphy and Connor exited the room quickly, both of them running, the hall seemed skinnier than it had been when they had came through the first time. On the side of the hotel's trashy carpeting sat Shae, in her long black coat, her head in her hands.

"Wha' the fuck are you still 'ere for?" Murphy asked, she looked up at him sadly, her eyes wide with hurt and confusion.

"I thought I was supposed to wait for you--" She muttered, her voice thick with tears. Murphy frowned, glancing further down the hall at Connor who gave him a knowing look. Reaching down to grab Shae's hand, Murphy started running again, pulling Shae along behind him, not really caring if he hurt her wrist with his hand. He followed Connor closely, hoping that no one had stolen the car they had... Borrowed... To get to the seedy hotel.

There it was—a little blue Honda, nothing anyone would miss, if it happened to get totaled or shot at. Murphy pulled the door open and pushed Shae into the backseat, climbing into the passenger side. Connor planted himself in the driver's side, starting the car with spare keys that Murphy had located in the jock box, when on a quest for cigarettes, both of the boys out and Murphy having a bit of a withdrawal-induced anxiety attack.

The ride home was in silence, Murphy glaring out of the side window, his chin perched against his hand in frustrated thought, Connor not even attempting to make a joke, to end the awkward silence. It was generally like he hated silence, always saying something, always talking about something. Shae sat in the back seat, her heeled feet pulled up, arms around her shins, head against her knees. She had tried to apologize twice only to have Murphy completely ignore her.

When they arrived back at Eve's apartment, Connor just assumed that Murphy didn't want to go back to Shae's, assumed that they were going to talk. Connor took Murphy's gun from him and went up the stairs before him, leaving Shae and Murphy in the courtyard, trashy as it may be.

Shae stood before him, her purse over her shoulder, hands folded in front of her lap, fingers pulling at her skirt, trying to make it longer than it was. Murphy didn't look at her, hands shoved deep in his pockets, not sure what else to do.

Why had Shae said that she had been raped if really, she was having a—disgusting--tryst with a gross Russian? Why would she let this guy mutilate her—use her as an ashtray, beat the hell out of her, leaving scars on her back, a few on her legs, and the scars around her wrists and ankles from the rope—he didn't understand. He didn't get why she did this. How she could go from sleeping with Murphy, to go out and see that guy.

"I'm sorry, Murphy..." Shae whispered, her hand coming up to tuck her hair out of her face. He continued to frown at the ground. "I'm sorry..." She repeated, her hand coming to cover her mouth.

"I don' care." Murphy said, glaring at her. He found a pack of cigarettes in his pocket, lifted one up and set it in his lips, locating his lighter, and lighting up. Shae went silent, looked down at her feet, her eyes filled with tears that could barely be seen in the early morning light.

"I love you," She whispered, glancing up at him again only for her eyes to shoot back down, upon seeing his glare, filled up with tears. She let out a quiet sob, one hand coming up to her mouth to bite into her fingers. "What do you want me to say?" She murmured after a long pause, looking up to Murphy again, dropping her hands to her sides, trying to be strong in front of him. He frowned at her quietly, at her small frame. He knew she was weak. Knew she couldn't do much of anything on her own. He knew how often she cried, over stupid things.

"Lot o' thin's." He mumbled at her, blowing smoke out of his mouth without taking the cigarette from his thin lips. "I ain' gonna ask you to say anythin'. I jus' wan' the truth." Shae's eyes scanned Murphy's face, a look of thought on her own.

"I didn't do anything, Murphy... I didn't want to--"

"I fuckin' know when your lyin'. Yer worse than Connor." He mumbled simply, frowning at her. She bit into her thumb, then looked down.

"Do you think I'm cheating on you? That he was my boyfriend, or something?" She mumbled. Murphy stared at her quietly, his face a mixture of hurt, anger and confusion. He shrugged. He was pretty sure that he knew that was exactly what he thought. Why couldn't he just say yes?

"I know wha' I saw." He said simply. "You was unner 'im. Ye looked like ye was enjoyin' it." He said, his throat starting to hurt. His throat burned, in fact. He was pissed. "Don' say you wasn' cos I fuckin' know exactly whatchu look like when you--"

"You couldn't even tell it was me until Connor pointed me out to you!" Shae yelled, looking up at him in anguish. "How could you tell I was enjoying it?"

"I coul' hear you! I know what you sound like, 'least." Murphy yelled back, finger flying in the direction of the hotel, miles off to the west. "S'not like I'm deaf!" Shae frowned heavily, looking away quickly, arms crossing over her chest. "My fuckin' brother knows wha' you look like naked, now..." He added on as a side note.

"Can I tell you what happened?" She whispered at him, not looking at him still, staring at the ground.

"I don' know. Can you?" Shae turned to shoot him a quick glare, biting into her thumb again

"Do you want me to leave, Murphy?" He looked down in silence. He didn't know the answer to that question, didn't have a a good rebuttal. "What do you want me to do?"

"I just wanna know wot 'appened..." He said, quietly, watching the ground. Shae took a deep breath, breathing out fog, arms crossing over her chest again.

"I'm a prostitute." Murphy looked back up at her, eyes wide, still slightly hurt. He pulled the cigarette from his mouth, just watching her in shock. "That's how I get myself into all of these predicaments. I fuck around, I get my money, sometimes I borrow too much, sometimes I sleep with the wrong people. I used to just work for the Syndicate. They think that I still do, and.... I guess I do... I fucked around with the Italians. They got pissed. You saw what happened." She was quiet, watching Murphy. He stared at the ground, one hand slack at his side, the cigarette between two of his fingers, the other stuffed in his pocket. "Do you want me to go?" He shrugged, lifting the cigarette to his lips to finish it off in one long drag. Shae's hand came up to her mouth with a loud sob, tears running frantically down her face. "Can I see you again, or is this it? Do you hate me?" Murphy was silent, turned away from her partway, taking a quarter step toward the apartment.

"I don't know." He mumbled quietly, tossing the butt of the cigarette at the ground. He felt sick to his stomach. He didn't know what to feel. Was he supposed to be angry at her? Was he supposed to be depressed that she just told him that it was her job to fuck people? That it wasn't only him?

"I love you, Murphy." He turned fully, lifting an arm to wave her off. Did he still love her? "I really am sorry." She called after him. "I would have told you. I didn't want you to find out--" He turned to her, frowning, looking like he was about to start crying himself.

"Then why the fuck didn' you?" He asked, loudly, voice cracking.

"I told Eve. I thought she would tell you. I thought she did tell you. I thought that's why you left me, when I got beat up. I didn't know she had told you that it was your fault... It wasn't your fault. It was my fault. I thought you knew, and you hated me for it." He stared at her sadly, so tired, so confused. "I wanted you to know... I just couldn't, Murphy. I love you, I do. None of that was a lie. Everything about us is true, sweetheart. I love you, and want you, and need you. I never faked anything with you. You feel so good, sweetie. I love you so much." Murphy bit his lip, staring at her, his eyes then shifting away to a bush plant, one that probably flowered in the summer, but was just scraggly and pathetic during winter.

"Can you get 'ome alright, by yourself?" He muttered, his voice just barely over a whisper. Shae nodded slowly, tears still streaming down her face. Murphy nodded, turning to head into the apartment building. "I... I'll see you." He mumbled, not sure if he really would.

"Murphy..." Shae cried at him, wiping her cheeks frantically, smearing black make-up down her cheeks. "I love you... Please." She said, he looked down at his feet, continued walking toward the path. The door was pulled open quickly and he entered, not looking back at her.

***"So?" Came Connor's voice the second Murphy opened the door. He was quiet for once, his voice level and calm. Murphy shot him a glare. "What 'appened?" Connor asked, taking a step toward his brother.

"She's a 'ore." Murphy mumbled, closing the door behind him to lean against it, arms coming across his chest. Connor nodded slowly, coming to lean against the wall next to Murphy. "I dunno wha' I'm s'posed to do." Connor shrugged, before standing fully.

"S'go get shitfaced." He said, grabbing the back of his brother's neck lightly, turning him around so he was facing the door.

"I don' want to go get shitfaced." Murphy mumbled, halfway lying. He did want to get drunk, just not out in public. He didn't want to get drunk with his brother, either. He just wanted to drink, sit on the couch and wish he hadn't found out. Connor sighed quietly, biting into the pad of his thumb.

"Y'gotta let it go, s'what ye gotta do." Connor said, patting Murphy's shoulder lightly. "Whatever ye choose to do, in the end. If yer gonna go back to 'er, you gotta accept it, right? If yer gonna let 'er go, y'gotta accept it. People do what they gotta to make money. Eve's a stripper, n' I 'ad to get over the fac' tha' guys ogle her all the time. I never see 'er cos she's always workin' somewhere, at Silk, 'r at Sundance, n' when she gets 'ome, she's too tired to do anehthin'.Yer lucky Shae only 'ad one job, n' tha' she came 'ome to ye every night." Murphy stared at Connor in silence. He had to have actually thought about it to come up with that piece of wisdom. He wasn't even sure that Connor was capable of thinking.

"D'ye get that out of a movie?" Murphy asked, trying to make sure Connor wasn't cheating him out of this. Connor shook his head, looking proud of himself, and arm coming around Murphy's wide shoulders protectively.

"All me. All me." He mumbled, with that proud look still plastered on his face.

"Righ'." Murphy mumbled, pushing Connor's arm off his shoulders and wandering to the couch, flopping down onto it inelegantly. Connor sighed at him, then disappeared into the kitchen. Murphy stared at the far wall, biting into his lip. He still felt the same toward Shae, he figured. He still loved her, there was just some sort of uncertainty. Could he love her? Should he? He sighed at Connor as he flopped onto the couch next to Murphy, a box of cold pizza and an armful of beer cans on his person. He tossed the box of pizza onto the coffee table and handed Murphy a can of beer before he found himself a box of cigarettes, and set the rest of the beer cans on the table. "You knew didn' you?" Murphy asked Connor, giving him a slightly dirty look. Connor hadn't seemed phased when he had informed him that Shae was a prostitute... Though he had said 'Whore.' It was meaner than it should have been, Murphy knew, he shouldn't have said it like that... But it was too late to take it back. Connor had also told Murphy, before they had gotten to the hotel, that if something that Murphy saw pissed him off, not to get disappointed. Murphy had blown it off at the time, not having a clue what Connor had been talking about. "You knew tha' she was in the hotel, didn' you? You knew tha' she was a 'ore, didn' you?" There was that word, again. He hated it, already. She wasn't a whore. Whores did it because they wanted to... Shae couldn't like it, could she? Connor nodded slowly.

'Smecker tole me." He mumbled, looking up at his brother before cracking open a beer.

"Why didn' you tell me?" Murphy asked, staring sadly at Connor. Connor shrugged, taking a long drink of the cold beer, Murphy still holding his can against his leg. "Why the fuck was I the only one wot didn' know?" Murphy asked, louder than before. Connor was silent, looking down.

"I thought you should find out from 'er, if aneh-one. Eve didn' think you shoulda found out, ever. She was willin' to keep you in the dark." Murphy stood up, angrily, tossing the can of beer off to the side. Connor watched his brother with a slightly hurt look on his face.

"So you fuckin' planned it? With Smecker?" Murphy yelled, tempted to attack Connor. Hitting him was so much easier than dealing with him.

"I didn' plan it. Jus'... 'appened that way."

"But you like it this way, don' you? You like me bein' alone." Murphy said angrily, trying to calm his voice down upon seeing that Eve's bedroom door was shut. He didn't want to wake her up.

"No, I don' Murph." Connor responded, standing as well, and grabbing his twin's shoulders. "I wan' you to be happy. I fuckin' love you, got it? F'you wanna be with Shae, then you go n' fuckin' find 'er. You tell 'er you love 'er. I don' get a say in who yer with, or who y'ain't with. F'you love 'er like ye did before, then you fuckin' be with 'er." Murphy was silent, looked away, staring at the bottom of the couch. He pulled his shoulders out of Connor's hands and stepped away from him.

"I thought you didn' like 'er." Murphy mumbled, still watching the ground. Connor shrugged lightly.

"S'not really my call, s'it?" Murphy was silent.

"M'I s'posed to go, now?" He asked Connor, who shrugged, giving him the same stupid look.

"Y'gonna take 'er back?" Connor mumbled, arms crossing over his chest.

"M'I s'posed to?" He asked slowly, before looking over his brother and sighing loudly. "Fuck it, I don' wanna talk to you abou' this." He said, falling onto the couch and picking up a beer, cracking it open and downing half of it. Connor watched him in silence, before sitting next to him on the couch and flicking the TV on, picking his can of beer back up and lifting it to his mouth.

***Murphy and Connor sat in silence together on the couch, the TV playing some stupid show neither of them cared nothing about, but still watching it for lack of words to share. Murphy's mind wandered and Connor sat in silence, devouring the cold pizza.

Murphy loved Shae. He knew that. He wanted her, so bad. Wanted to have her, keep her safe... Wanted something with her. He didn't know what to call it. Did he really want to marry her? Have kids? He didn't know. He wanted what he had had earlier in the night to last forever, he knew that. But could it, now that he knew what she did for a living? Could he go on loving her knowing that what she did went completely against Gods words and Murphy's own beliefs? He sighed loudly and Connor glanced over at him expectantly. He shook his head at his twin, took another long drink of the now-warm beer. Disgusting...

Maybe he could just talk to Shae—try again, at least. The first time didn't go exactly as planned. He was going to ask her why she did it. And if it was for a good reason, he would fix it. If it was because she was a liar... If she wasn't really a hooker-_I mean, who whores em'selves out for money just cos they can? _Was his general opinion on the matter. Why would she submit herself to such a torture just because she wanted to? Unless she just wanted to. In which case, he didn't see a reason for her to need him. It wasn't really like they had in-depth conversations, or went out and did anything. It was just a lot of sex, and sleeping in a comfortable bed, other than a sagging couch which killed his back, in Murphy's case. Another loud sigh, and a glance from Connor. Again, Murphy shook his head, before pulling a foot up onto the couch to rest his head upon.

They heard Eve stir within her room and both of they're eyes moved to her as she exited, dressed in her waitress outfit, headed for work at Sundance, the one place Connor could handle leaving her alone.

"Eve." Connor yelled as she went into the kitchen, headed for coffee and breakfast. "Murph needs ya." Connor yelled, pushing Murphy off the couch none-too-politely. Murphy fell, already unbalanced from having one foot off the ground, and pulled himself up off the floor to smack Connor over the side of the head. Connor pointed an angry finger at him, and shooed him into the kitchen, after his own girl.

"Sup, Murph." Eve asked tiredly, yawning loudly and stretching up as the coffee maker growled at her, bubbling and hissing. Murphy leaned against the counter quietly, looking at his feet.

"I found out." He mumbled, arms crossing against his chest, as he continued to stare at his pale bare feet. Eve raised an eyebrow at him, then looked back at the coffee maker, urging it to spit out her caffeine faster. "That... Wot Shae does." He mumbled. Eve nodded slowly.

"She told you?" She said back, in a quiet voice. Murphy nodded when Eve glanced up at him, still staring down sadly.

"Affer me 'n Connor found 'er with the guy wot messed 'er up." He mumbled at her, she nodded again.

"What are you going to do?" Murphy shrugged, looking down.

"I love her. Don' I?" He asked, sounding uncertain even to himself. Eve leaned back against the counter, looking across the room at Murphy, sipping at her coffee. "Tha' doesn' just change, does it? I can still like 'er, even if she does something I don' like, right?" Eve was quiet, but slowly nodded in response.

"I suppose." She mumbled. Murphy looked down at his feet.

"Am I s'posed to? M'I s'posed to love 'er? M'I s'posed to wan' 'er, still? M'I s'posed to go find her and say sorry for being a dick?"

"You were a dick? Did you yell at her?" Murphy shrugged, then nodded. Eve sighed at him, taking a long drink of her coffee.

"I yelled. Said things I shouldn'uv... Was a dick." He mumbled, looking up at Eve sadly. Eve sighed at him again, setting her coffee cup down and coming over to him.

"Do you love her?" Murphy shrugged, slowly, looking away from Eve. "Did you love her before you found out?" He nodded, hand coming up to his mouth slowly, biting into his thumbnail. "Why don't you love her anymore? Cos she sleeps with other guys? Cos other people see her naked?" Murphy stayed silent, not looking up at Eve. He didn't know for a fact what love is. He just knew from experience, from Connor's experience... From the feeling in his chest, like butterflies choking him. The feeling that Connor got when he was around Eve, who he loved. But did he feel it all the time, or just when he looked at Eve sexually? Murphy only knew from the feeling that he didn't understand that he loved Shae. What if it wasn't love? He had never loved anyone—his ma, his da, and Connor, of course; he figured he loved Eve as well, seeing as she was like his little sister... He didn't get that feeling around them, but maybe because that was a different kind of love. He thought hard. He had never _wanted _ anyone, either. He hadn't _needed _anyone. He hadn't craved the sexual bliss from anyone, ever. Not even the few girls back in Ireland that he had messed around with... He didn't care about them, though.

"Wha' if I don' love 'er?" Eve raised her eyebrow at him. "What if I just wan' 'er? I don' know what it feels like to love someone... Maybe I don' love 'er."

"How much would you give up for her?" Eve asked quietly, looking Murphy over with a sad and determined look on her face. He shrugged slowly after a long thought, looking back up at Eve.

"I can't jus' say... Like, if she ast me to give up smokin', I woul'. 'R drinkin'." Eve gave him a slight smile as he pondered what else he could give up for Shae.

"Would you kill an innocent man just cos he looked at her the wrong way? Or touched her in a way you didn't like?" Murphy snorted lightly, looking down.

"I don't know if that guy did anything. I never seen him hurt anyone, steal anything... I killed him. I shot him twice, jus' ta make sure he got the picture." Murphy said, looking down, with a sort of angry smile gracing his thin lips.

"Aye, he did." Connor put in from the doorway, coming over to put his arms around Eve. Murphy glanced up at the two of them sadly, wishing he had Shae to put his arms around, her warm body, her wide hips; his eyes dropped to the ground again.

"You think about her in church." Eve said, a sly smile coming across her mouth. Murphy shook his head lightly, not wanting to look up and see the look of disapproval that Connor was most likely giving him. "You do, Murph. I know. I see that guilty li'l look you get. Like you know someone knows what you're thinking. And I do."

"I'm not thinking about her like--" Murphy defended, trying to regain his dignity. He didn't always think about sex in church—just most of the time. It was kind of annoying, he had to admit, and bad. He knew it was bad. But he always apologized, whenever it crossed his mind, crossed himself frantically and prayed for forgiveness.

"Bull." Connor answered, interrupting his twin knowingly. "I get the same feeling as you, you know I do. I get the fuckin' floaty feelin' all day we're fuckin' in there wit' you and yer li'l horn-dog self." Murphy flushed brightly, looking back down.

"I don--" He defended again, holding his hands up awkwardly.

"Whatever, Connor. Leave him alone. It's fine, Murph." Eve comforted, kissing Connor as he stole her coffee, exiting the room, again. She sighed upon looking down at her empty hands and went to get another cup out of the cupboard, pouring more joe. "You do love her Murph. I know you do. Go tell her you do, when you feel better, when you know that you can." Murphy nodded slowly, glancing around the kitchen quietly, not sure if he wanted to run over there immediately and tell her that he loved her, that he wanted her, or if he should wait until later.

***Murphy walked, paced. If his feet took him to Shae, that's where he would go. They had gotten quite used to traveling that simple path. In the dark, he would wind up there. In the fog, he would wind up at Shae's apartment. Even when he tried to lead himself away, his feet would find it. He knew how to get there from most points of Boston at this point.

He steered himself away from every familiar street he found figuring if he still ended up there, he would go talk to her then... And if he wound up stranded on some random street in Worcester, that was going to be his own fault... And he would probably have to stay in Worcester until he bummed a quarter off of someone to call Connor and Eve, who couldn't even be guaranteed to come get him.

That was all beside the point. He shook his head slightly, trying to focus forward, on what he needed to be thinking about. Shae. He sighed quietly. Eve was right, wasn't she? He really did have an infatuation. He was smitten. He loved Shae, if anything. Even after he knew that she had slept with that guy, he had hoped, hoped, that she was being attacked, that she wasn't enjoying it. When he thought about it, while Connor and he held the Russian down, guns pointed at his head, he knew. He knew she had been enjoying it—or now, he hoped, faking it—and he hadn't been angry at her. He had been angry at the Russian. He had wanted to rip the guy to fucking shreds, if he was being honest with himself. He wanted to cut out the guys entrails. Was Murphy jealous? Is that what that feeling was called? Jealousy? Or was he just angry that this guys had touched _his _Shae. He sighed again, finding a cigarette in his pocket and leaning against the closest wall to light up, his feet hurting in his still unbroken shoes.

He placed the small cig in his mouth and went on a hunt for his lighter in his pockets, hoping that Connor hadn't stolen it. He found it a second after thinking this, lit up, took a long drag.

Now that he had decided that he loved Shae, he needed to think logically about the rest of the relationship. Did he want more with her? Did he want a relationship with her, or just sex? He knew the sex was important to him, that that was one of the things he liked most about Shae, and apparently so did Connor and Eve. Another loud sigh. He would have to talk to her more often; not to say that it was a chore, like he didn't want to do it. He wanted to know Shae. Know her favorite color, her favorite food, what she liked to do besides draw, if she liked music, what kind. He wanted to know her. He wanted to have her for his own, he knew. He just didn't know if he was capable of having and loving her.

He didn't know if it would be easy for him, seeing as his job wasn't something that a girl could just go along with. He didn't want to make her life hard. He wanted her to be happy, wanted to make her happy. Maybe he just needed to try harder. Maybe he could make her happy. He sighed loudly, again, a cloud of cigarette smoke coming from his lips. He glanced around to get his bearings, not sure where he was... A familiar street. He looked up.

Of course fate would make it so.

He had been smoking against her apartment building the entire time he had smoked his cigarette. He tossed it to the ground, stepped on it and entered the lobby, nodding at the night receptionist, who knew him well enough. He had seen Murphy come in with Shae so many times in the past couple months, had seen him leave alone in the mornings so often. Murphy wondered if the receptionist knew of Shae's occupation. If he had slept with her. He ascended the stairs, feeling that he needed to use the stairs. He could still change his mind on the stairs, which was what he was going for, he had to admit; he wanted more time to decide than what had been his original deadline.

Murphy had no idea how to make a girl happy. He didn't know what girls liked—except for Eve, who's interests barely went further than crappy romance books, sleep, Connor, coffee and booze. He didn't know what Shae wanted from him, if she only liked sex, or if she wanted to have a life with Murphy... An unhappy one, if they continued the way they had started... Him killing off all the guys she slept with... Shooting her business in the back of the head, he didn't plan on stopping until she was out of business, either, whether he went back to her or no.

Flight three.

Then the question arose in his mind. What if she didn't want him back? What if it was all just a ploy between Connor and her, trying to make him hate her so she could get away from him? He felt his feet slowing, not wanting to go up to see her, if she was going to just reject him the second he opened the door—if she was even there... She would have to be, wouldn't she? It was nearly noon. She was probably asleep, if anything. She wouldn't be working at noon, would she? He turned himself around, going back down the first steps of the flight again, before pausing and looking back up, toward the top floor, hand on the railing.

He couldn't know if she was going to reject him if he didn't go see. But could he handle the rejection? He shook his head, turning himself around again, and going back up those few steps, up to the top of the flight and on to the next one.

Flight four.

He had to believe that she liked him still, that she wasn't mad at him. He had to pretend, at least. Pretend he hadn't said all the stupid things he had said, pretend that he hadn't rejected her. Pretend that he had told her that he loved her, instead of turning her down. When she had gotten fucked up a few weeks earlier, he had told her that he loved her, and that that wasn't going to change. Had it changed? Had she assumed that it had changed because he was an asshole?

Flight seven.

He wanted Shae so bad. He wanted to hold her. To touch her. To do so much to her. He wanted her naked, in the shower, honestly. He didn't just want to be with her, he wanted to _have _her. Wet, hot, maybe even kind of soapy—what the hell was he thinking?

Flight ten.

He was closing in on her, getting nearer to her. He paused on the top step of flight ten, headed to the eleventh floor's landing, to her door. He had to push out all the sexual thoughts he could. Think of dead puppies, not of Shae, naked, wet, soapy—Shit!

He finally got rid of all those thoughts—it was a lot easier when he thought of Connor than it was to think of puppies, as puppies were cute, and Shae was cute... Which brought him back to Shae, in the shower. He sighed, pushing his palms against his eyes, trying to burn a naked image of Connor onto them... What an odd feeling, trying to think of his brother naked. Hopefully that didn't make him a creep...

He exited the stairwell, found himself on the familiar floor, looking up and down for Shae's door, dark blue, relaxing, calming, behind it, he knew were promises of things he wasn't sure he would never be allowed to have again. He lifted his hand slowly to knock, staring at the metallic brass numbers, elegant and so shiny.

All he had to do was knock. Tell her what he had decided to tell her. What the hell had he decided? That he wanted to have sex in the shower—that didn't matter. Especially if he couldn't even fucking apologize. If he couldn't tell her he loved her.

He was just as bad as all the other guys, but his fantasy was so elaborate. He wanted to love her, wanted her to spoil him. And that's what he got. He just somehow got out of paying for the same thing that they were getting for $750 a night. He dropped his hand. Shae couldn't give a shit about him, and he was incapable of giving a shit about her, now that he knew. He didn't want to see her. He just wanted to fuck her. Just like all the other guys. Did he have to shoot himself too? Slowly, he turned away, taking a step in the direction of the elevator.

There was no time needed for him to decide.


	6. UPDATE!

Hey, everyone!

This is just a kind reminder!!

If you want to know what is going on with stories, it would be super if you could just go ahead and check out my profile, as that is where I will be putting status updates on all of them.

Once again... Thanks for reading.

And putting up with my crap... D:

I love you!


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

Over the course of the next week, Murphy had gone back to Shae's apartment, having constant mood swings. At this point, he was fairly certain his indecision was killing him.

He had been wandering back and forth between Shae's apartment and Eve's, telling himself that he needed Shae, and then that he didn't... And then deciding that he did; but then... Maybe she didn't want him.

He had made it back into Eve's apartment twice, sat down, drank two thirds of a beer, and had left, despite the questioning look of Connor, and had come back forty minutes later to finish his beer, eat half a slice of pizza, only to get back up and leave again after deciding once more that he needed Shae.

This was going to be the death of him. No matter what he decided in the end, he definitely wasn't taking in enough calories to survive on, and what he was taking in he was just burning back off on his 2 mile walk to Shae's apartment.

Which was where he was now, staring stupidly at her door, his hand raised to knock once more. He sighed, finally, hand dropping to his side. She wouldn't want to see him, he was sure she wouldn't. He leaned against the wall next to her door, staring at the ground. He wanted to see her so bad, but didn't know what to say. Didn't know what to do. His stomach growled angrily up at him. He had achieved a stitch in his side on the way over to Shae's home, and his stomach was now angry at him for running all around town while it was still empty.

He slid down the wall so that he was sitting on the ground, setting his hands against his head with a loud sigh and leaning his forehead against his knees. What if she wasn't even home? What if she was out_ working..? _He still didn't know if he could love her after knowing what she did for a living, or if he was supposed to love her, even if he did.

He shook his head, trying to clear it. Maybe if he wrote everything down it would help him figure out what the hell was going on. Did he love her? Or just enjoy the sex? It was bad enough that he was having sex with some girl he wasn't married to... The fact that she was a prostitute was even worse.

It wasn't just the sex.

He loved her, and he knew that he did. He just wasn't sure if it was okay to be with her, or to love her, knowing what she _did_.

"Murphy...?" Came a familiar voice. Murphy glanced up to see a short, adorable girl standing before him, her head shaven, with fine black stubble around her perfectly shaped head, her eyes bright and gray and familiar... Shae. He stared at her in silence, his mouth open in shock. All of her hair was gone. She had spoken to him. She didn't hate him. If she hated him, she would have kicked him, or something, right? "Are you okay, hon?" She asked him, kneeling down beside him, hand setting against his shoulder, he pulled away from her, startled, not sure if he could handle anything beyond seeing her. "Do you want to come in?" She asked him quietly. "I'm gonna make dinner..." She stood, holding a hand out to him. He shook his head, still silent, standing also.

"I shoul' go... I jus' wanted to make sure you were okay..." He lied, taking a step away from her.

"Do you want me to change who I am?" She asked him, her voice loud to catch him across the hall. He turned slowly, looking her over sadly, still wondering why her hair was gone. His eyes ran over her, taking every part of her. She was wearing stockings and a short skirt. She had to have just gotten in from... Working. "Murphy...?" She asked quietly, staring at him sadly. He looked down quickly, biting his lip. Did he want her to change? He didn't want her to be doing what she was doing, even if she did need the money. But he didn't want her to be different. He loved who she was; quiet, awkward, and sexy.

"No," He whispered. She smiled lightly, and looked down.

"I told them I quit." She said, quietly, her mouth changing quickly to a frown. He watched her, his hand twitching at his side, wanting to hold her. "I just wanted you to like me again. I would have done anything." She looked back up at him, her mouth a stern frown. "Maksim cut my hair off. I thought it looked okay... I got over it. Small price to pay, right?" Murphy frowned at her in silence, and finally his hand gave in. It reached toward her, and ran over her head, the short hair so, so soft.

"Maksim whut?" He asked chewing on his bottom lip. Shae stared at him in confusion, her hand reaching toward his hand. Murphy jerked away when her fingertips grazed his arm and she frowned up at him, her mouth opening slightly, as if she was going to say something.

"Spalko." Shae mumbled. Murphy nodded slowly, stepping away from her again, and glaring determinedly ahead of him.

"I'll come back, okay?" He muttered at her. She frowned at him, reaching out to touch his hand. "Soon. I won' take forever this time. Promise." He whispered, taking her hand lightly, just holding it. He pulled it up to his cheek and held it against his skin.

"Can you just stay?" She mumbled at him quietly, her face still reading the same sad emotion. "Please?" He frowned down at her before kissing the back of her hand.

"I don' know." Murphy mumbled after a long pause of silence, just watching her. "I don' know if I want to, or if I gotta go. I don' know anything. I don' know if I love you, if you love me. I don' know if you hate me, if I want you, if you want me... I don' know, Shae. An' I wanna know. I wan'... I wan' a lot of things. An' everythin's so confusing." He pushed a hand against the bridge of his nose, sighing loudly. Shae watched him in silence, still holding onto his hand.

"Stay with me, Murphy. Please. I need you." She whispered, pulling on his hand. "I love you, Murph. I want you. I don't hate you. I want a lot of things, too... And I can give you what you want.." He frowned at her in silence, before pulling his hand away from hers.

"I'll come back," He whispered, leaning down to stroke the side of her head lightly, kissing her cheek. She frowned at him, touching his hand again. "I'm sorry." He mumbled, finally. "For a lot of things... but right now, I gotta go fuck up this Spalko guy." He whispered, pulling away from her and moving quickly down the hall.

***Murphy found himself back at Eve's place only ten minutes after—had he run? He didn't know. All he knew was that he had somehow cut off half the usual time it took him to walk to Shae's house. He stomped up the stairs, pushing the door quickly open and practically jogging to Connor and Eve's room, not bothering to knock. If they were in the middle of something it was just going to have to fucking wait.

"Where the hell is my gun?" He yelled in, grabbing Connor—who was indeed on top of Eve, naked—by the back of the neck and pulling him out of bed, ignoring Eve's protesting yells and Connor's bitching. Eve covered herself up, sitting up and Connor also found a blanket to pull around his waist, both of them staring in shock. "We got to go, Connor. Fuckin' now."

"What happened?" Eve asked, staring at Murphy in shock. "What did you do?" she asked frantically. Murphy shook his head, turning to glare at Connor.

"Gimme my fuckin' gun. You gotta call Smecker. Help me find this guy. Please." He mumbled, his face shifting to sadness, pleading.

"C'ye gimme a fuckin' minute?" Connor responded, gesturing at the room, generally. Murphy frowned at him still.

"Shae hasn't got a fuckin' minute, Connor." Connor frowned at his brother, who continued to give him that same pleading look. Connor rolled his eyes, finally and nodded, pushing Murphy out of the room and closing the door. Murphy stood in the living room, biting his thumbnail stupidly, not sure what to do. He seemed so unsure of everything, anymore. He wasn't sure if he loved the girl he knew he loved, wasn't sure if Connor was going to help him kill this guy, or if he wouldn't agree at all.

The door opened finally and Connor walked out in a t-shirt and jeans, Eve following behind him bundled in a blanket.

"Whassa matter wit Shae?" He asked, handing Eve the phone, so that she could call Smecker.

"Nothin'. I guess." Murphy mumbled, sitting at the dining table and writing down the name—Maksim Spalko—for Eve and pushing it toward her as she sat across from him. Connor made an angry noise and sat next to Murphy after hitting him over the back of the head. "E's 'er fuckin' pimp. 'E fucked up 'er life, Connor. I know 'oo he is. We can save some other poor girl. 'E cut off all o' Shae's 'air." He added on, frowning at Connor, that pleading look still on his face. "Please, Connor. Help me." He whispered, trying to look pathetic. Connor groaned at him, and Eve dialed the phone quickly, giving Connor a pathetic look, as well.

"If I was in trouble, Murphy would help you." She mumbled. Connor groaned at her even as she had the phone against her ear.

"There ain't no trouble!"

"She quit. He's gonna kill 'er, she said." Murphy lied quickly, really just wanting to kill the guy who had ruined Shae's life. Even if he couldn't make himself face her, he didn't want her to go back to how she had lived. She wanted to make her life better and killing off her employer seemed like a good idea.

"Fine, whatever." Connor groaned, head falling against the table.

***Only a few hours later, Connor and Murphy stood outside Maksim's house—big, expensive and trashy. There was security, yes, but they were easy to sneak around. Russians were easily distracted when it came right down to it.

The twins had split up, not knowing where Maksim would be, only knowing that they had to find him. It was ten PM, so he was either playing poker somewhere near the parlor, or in bed, according to Smecker. Not that either of the boys knew where either of those places would be. Sure, it didn't seem very smart to separate in such a big house, but Murphy had to do what he had to do, and killing this guy was high up in his priorities. He just hoped that if Connor found him first, his brother had figured out a way to tell Murphy where he was.

He was definitely regretting separating from his brother. They should have stayed together. The two of them would _always_ be watching a movie and would yell at people for splitting up. Why did they split up? Who's idiot idea was that?

Oh, yeah. It was Murphy's. Fuck.

Too bad Connor didn't stop it. They were both idiots.

"Shit..." He mumbled, about-facing and jogging back the way he came, figuring he would go back to his brother. What if Connor had done something stupid—that didn't even make sense. Of course Connor had done something stupid. He had probably gotten excited and gone too far—he always went too far—and had gotten himself shot. Murphy hadn't heard any gunshots, though. So if anything, someone just strangled him, or beat the shit out of him, or stabbed him to death. "Shit, shit!" He muttered, picking up speed before he turned a corner abruptly and ran into a solid object which punched him in the cheek.

"Murph?" Connor whispered. Murphy sighed in relief, holding his cheek before hugging his brother.

"God, I thoughtchu fuckin' died." He yelled, pulling away to punch Connor in the arm. Connor frowned at Murphy, shushing him with a finger before pointing frantically down the hall. "Joo find him?" Murphy mouthed, wondering what the point of whispering was if he had just been yelling. Connor nodded and then shrugged slightly, taking a few steps forward, going to the next bend in the hallway with Murphy close behind him.

Murphy leaned around the corner slyly, peeking to see a big stereotypically Russian guy making a phone call.

"I figgered I'd wait for 'im to get off the phone, 'fore I grabbed him. So no one knows." Murphy nodded, glaring at the guy, wishing he would finish his phone call so he could kill him. "S'been talkin' ferever." Connor whispered. Murphy nodded again, then stepped around the corner, going to said phone and hanging up. This seemed like a logical solvent to the problem. Connor came around the corner as well, grabbed the guy by the shoulder and forced him onto the ground and Murphy tossed the phone onto the ground and gave it a swift stomp, breaking it into a handful of pieces.

"Shouldn' 'ave fucked up my girl's life." Murphy mumbled, pushing his gun against the back of Maksim's head, purposely hitting him hard with the pistol.

***Murphy knocked on the door of Shae's apartment wishing she wasn't taking so long to open the door. He missed her. It had been a week since he had held her last, not that that was anyone's fault but his own. It had been a week since he had kissed her; he missed the way she tasted, felt, the way she talked. The door opened slowly, Shae standing in the doorway and rubbing her eyes as though she had just woken up. It was eight in the morning—made sense that she had been sleeping.

"Murph." She mumbled at him, a smile appearing on her beautiful mouth. He grinned at her as well, wondering how he had lived that week without her. His arms coiled around her wide hips, pulling her against him. She smiled wider. "I missed you," She whispered, snaking her arms around his neck, and tugging him fully into the apartment. He reached back to close the door behind him, and Shae smiled up at him still, her face content and peaceful.

"Sorry I woke you," He whispered back, reaching to stroke her cheek lightly with the back of his fingertips. Her hand reached to stroke his, and she still smiled up at him sadly.

"You didn't." She lied, reaching up to his face, her tiny hands spreading across his cheeks, her thumb touching his thin lip almost shyly. He kissed her finger, and tugged her close to him again. "I missed you, a lot." She repeated, and Murphy continued to grin at her.

"I missed you, too," He whispered, touching her chin to turn her mouth up to him. He wasn't sure if he could even kiss her properly with this huge smile on his face. She smiled at him, too, her pretty artist's hands stroking his cheek. She pulled his mouth down to hers, kissed him deeply, demanding it and pulling him toward a flat surface—the wall. She leaned against it and pulled him down against her, her mouth hard on his, one of her legs sneaking around his.

Murphy bit at her lips with the same urgency, finding the buttons of her sleep-shirt, undoing them skillfully and pushing the the thin white fabric away from her shoulders. Shae whined at him, her voice quiet and needy, her hands pushing at his coat, still urgent.

God, he had missed her.

She successfully got his coat off and pulled his tee-shirt away from his skin as well before pressing herself back against his chest.

"Shae..." He mumbled, his mouth against her neck. "I love you," She gave him a quiet giggle, and he slid a hand down her side to pull on the top of her panties, tugging them down, and tossing them aside. She smiled again, lifting his mouth to hers again, and kissed him deeply.

"I love you, too, Murphy." She whispered, her hips pushing against his. He grinned widely, and undid her bra, pulling it away from her huge chest, his mouth wandering back down her neck and across those same large breasts, finally somehow comfortable with them.

He ran his hands over them, holding and loving them, and she smiled, her hands running through his soft hair and across his thin neck and broad shoulders, before her foot kicked at the top of his boot, helping him get those off, one of her hands sliding down his stomach and pressing against his dick in the process.

His hips moved toward hers and she undid his belt and jeans, shoving them and his boxers down hastily. He found her mouth with his own once more and kissed her deeply, her leg making its way up the side of his leg to hook around his hip, pulling him against her.

He groaned down at her pushing himself almost easily into her, ignoring the fact that he had no condom. He didn't have time for that; not this time. He just wanted this girl, and that seemed more important than anything else at the time.

Shae pulled on his shoulders and his back, pulling him down against her as he pushed himself up into her.

[[Sorry about the very inconclusive ending. My profile will explain all of this stuff, if you really need to know. Thanks.]]


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